Ten Steps to solve a Problem
by Channah
Summary: RS Steph loves both, Morelli and Ranger. Mary Lou had a terrible fight with her husband. So, what to do now? Right, go on vacation.
1. Step One

Disclaimer: I do not own anything.

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**Chapter 1 **

**Step One: Leave your problems behind**

I was a fool, a fool in a foolish predicament.

One man in my life lived of Acid reflux because of me, a second one would willingly kill/ die (whatever suited the situation I was currently in) for me.

And I was in love with the both of them.

And that was the whole problem that overshadowed my life at the moment. It was the kind of problem that dictated my thoughts and my very actions. Said actions that currently led me straight to Spain…

All right, all right, I admit it: I'm a chicken.

Duh, I think we figured that one out a while ago.

Unfortunately in this certain predicament I couldn't even _pretend_ to be brave and to be on top of the situation anymore. It was all way too much for me to handle and it didn't exactly help either when people from the Burg, like my mother and Lula, took different corners to shove me in the direction of their favourite lover for me.

My mother, of course, demanded a perfect marriage with me as the perfect housewife. In her opinion only Joe Morelli could make this dream come true.

Lula, however, still dreamt of being invited to the Batcave in the future by me after she gave up her fantasy of ever becoming Ranger's personal _lust maid_.

And I? The main character in this drama?

I did choose.

I chose to run away. And boy did I feel good about my decision.

It wasn't like I wanted to play the two men in my life. That wouldn't be fair to either one of them. The problem just was that they were harbouring romantic feelings for me, I think (I wasn't too sure if Ranger's feelings headed in romantically in love or romantically in lust), and I for them.

But how to choose? Or more importantly: Who?

I was attracted to Morelli because I had always felt drawn to him. I even lost my virginity to him and that has to count for something. Plus I needed the kind of stability of having him in my life, the feeling of home he provided and the marriage-kind-of-love he felt towards me.

On the other hand I craved Ranger for the faith and support he put in me. The raw and complete trust he had in me – I who is a clumsy moron with a terrible fear of weapons, I who stumbles across dead bodies like normal people across dog shit; and he trusted me with his life, his friendship and even his family. And that was what made me yearn for him, because he was The Man of the Mystery for everybody, but to me he opened up a bit, to me he sometimes became just a man…

"Steph, you're doing it again! Stop brooding and enjoy the fine view already!"

By the way, Mary Lou accompanied me on this little trip to Europe. She was actually the one to suggest this form of escape in the first place. It only needed some persuading on her part to get me to agree on it.

Snapping out of my thoughts, I obliged her demand and let my gaze follow her excited one. Mary Lou visibly enjoyed our first hours at the beach of Canyelles, especially the _fine view_ as she called all those men flooding the area near the ocean.

"Mary Lou, you're a married woman. Don't you dare forget that!" I dutifully chastised, knowing that she needed someone who at least tried to watch over her. I used the word _tried_ because I knew very well myself that with my talent to get into troubles, Mary Lou wouldn't long be the one in need of a watchdog.

She huffed annoyed and crossed her arms over her chest, her lips pursed in anger. "Well, it seems that my husband likes to forget his duties as a lawfully wedded man."

I tried really hard not to roll my eyes. Instead I scrutinised the environment once more. The view was indeed beautiful. A long and winding beach with soft sand and the cool water of the ocean. The sun shone brightly down on us, making me really lazy on my spot fifty feet away from the water. I wasn't very good at describing, but I really liked it here.

But of course, Mary Lou meant a whole different kind of view. Her attention was solely focused the many young men swaggering around and showing off their toned bodies while checking girls out.

They were a bit too immature for my liking, but Mary Lou found it was hot. I suspected that she only wanted one of those guys to adore her for a while so she could later rub it into Lenny's face that there were other men who knew how to treat a woman properly – however, I think this phrase would put it far too gentlemanly; I silently believed that these womanisers didn't even know how to satisfy a woman other than sexually.

Apart from my doubts, that about summed it up why we left Trenton and went to Spain – because Mary Lou fought with Lenny over trivial things before seeing a report about holiday resorts in southern Europe and next she convinced her best friend to come along.

"How about we play beach volleyball?" Mary Lou asked as she glanced at eight men throwing themselves into the sand in order to shove a ball back and forth. "They could definitely use some female addition to their teams."

I shook my head and shuddered a little. She began to sound more and more like Grandma Mazur…

By the way, my family had no clue either as to where we fled. Shortly before bordering the plane I had phoned my mother and had told her that I would be on vacations for a while with Mary Lou. Unnecessary to say she freaked out. However, before she could threaten to cut off my cake supply, I ended the call.

So, without any care Mary Lou and I enjoyed our time-out in Europe, having left all of our problems back home in Trenton.

"Boy, I could get really used to this," Mary Lou sighed contentedly and stretched her legs.

I couldn't agree with that.

Early in the morning when we arrived at our hotel, we brought our luggage to our rooms and decided to explore our surroundings a little.

Quickly we found the cute little supermarket down the street and bought a bag with donuts. Five minutes later we came to the beach and practically stayed there ever since we changed into our bathing suits.

Now, a few hours later, I was bored out of my mind. Mary Lou might be happy with observing muscular men sweating in the sun all day, but I wasn't interested in any other men except for Morelli and Ranger, and sunbathing for hours made me drowsy. Plus I felt too lazy to sort out my problems with the two men in my life.

I just had to do something.

"Hey, Mary Lou, let's go cool off in the water," I suggested.

"No," she distractedly declined. "Go without me. I'll come later."

Shrugging, I went to the water. Feeling some of the heat leave my body, I thanked God for creating oceans. The next minute I apologised to him for not going to church.

Twenty minutes later I returned to Mary Lou, only to find her flirting with a tall, dark-skinned man who busied himself with walking the beach up and down all day selling coconuts.

"Steph, that's Martouf," my best fried excitedly introduced him to me. He was approximately six feet tall, wore only black ducks and a killer smile that certainly was favoured by the ladies. He oddly reminded me of Ranger and his men with his calm and confident aura. Strange chills penetrated my body. He didn't act at all like a coconut seller…

His bright and open smile was the only thing that contradicted my suspicions.

"Martouf is African," Mary Lou offered, obviously seeing my thoughtful gaze.

"That's true," Martouf confirmed. „But my family emigrated to the USA when I was eight."

"Where did you live then?" I asked.

"In Boston, till I was grown-up," he said. "When I was old enough I sold my house and went to Spain."

I raised an eyebrow. He had had an _own house_ in Boston that he sold only to vend coconuts at Spanish beaches?

Was he nuts!

Whatever he had worked as in Boston, it had to profit him enough money to buy a house. Why would he want to give that up?

Hell, I would be happy to have the money for an own house with a nice little garden…

He laughed good-naturedly as he saw my sceptical expression. I liked his laugh. It was nice and amused, not patronising or cold.

"I know, I know. Living in a small flat and trying to get tourists to buy coconuts can't compare to a luxurious life in Boston. What can I say?" He winked at Mary Lou flirtatiously. "I like it tough."

Something about his sentence irked me. If he had had so much money while being in the States, why should that change when he came to Europe?

But before I had the chance to voice my thoughts, I had to make sure my best friend stopped drooling.

"So," I started, successfully drawing both of their attentions to me. "Do you earn much by selling… coconuts?"

He lifted one shoulder carelessly. "I earn enough."

"And how long do you usually work?" Mary Lou eagerly asked. Her hidden intentions quite obvious for everyone.

"Depends," Martouf smoothly replied. "On whether or not I have something planned for the evening."

The two stared into each others eyes until I could take no more.

"Martouf, don't you have work to do?" I forcefully said before turning to Mary Lou. "And didn't you want to call your husband, Mary Lou?" Okay, it was a fib that she wanted to call Lenny, but hey, it was only for her best.

While Mary Lou glared openly at me, Martouf only seemed surprised before giving me a warm smile. "Married, huh? Should have known that such a beautiful woman already got a man." Mary Lou blushed pettily. "What about you?" he asked, turning to me again. "You got a man back home?"

I felt my cheeks grow hot. "Actually I got two," I corrected.

Martouf blinked a few times before he threw his head back and laughed loudly. When he had calmed down a bit, he gave me a charming smile that showed off all of his blinking white teeth, and said, "I like you." With that he pretended to raise his hat on his bald head, and left.

"What did you do that for?" Mary Lou hissed as soon as he was out of earshot.

I sent her a reproachful look. "Just wanted to remind you that you're a lawfully wedded woman," I threw her own words back at her.

Sulking, she crossed her arms over her chest. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"It's not fair to Lenny to flirt with another man while he's waiting at home for you."

She sighed heartily. "You don't know how it is. I'm in my mid-thirties, lead a respectable but boring life as the perfect housewife in the Burg and have a body that blatantly shows that I've given birth to a few kids."

Well, at least Lenny was as faithful as a swan and wouldn't cheat on her with her arch-enemy.

"You lead an interesting life full of action and the two hottest men alive are infatuated with you!"

A little understatement of the disaster called my life… 

"Aren't you a little young for a mid-life crisis?" I asked.

Mary Lou clicked with her tongue. "This is not a stupid mid-life crisis. This is serious! I feel like I need to reinvent myself."

Right.

In a way I could even understand her. Maybe I needed to reinvent myself too. Perhaps the new and improved Stephanie could find a solution for her Morelli-Ranger-problem… Or at least find a way to eat chocolate cake as much as she wants without having to unbutton her jeans…

Later that night I went to the bedroom, locking the door behind me as I tentatively listened to the voicemail on my cell phone.

The first message was, of course, from my mother. After her ten-minute nagging with the concluding order to come home this instant, the second message uncoiled.

An angry sounding Morelli bellowed, "Stephanie, where the hell are you! Call me." I involuntarily winced.

The third and last message however sent shivers down my spine. "Babe," Ranger breathed.

I felt a smile stretch out on my face as I went to bed, knowing that the two biggest problems in my life couldn't just break into my apartment and confront my actions.

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**Flashback**

_She lay on the ground to his feet, covered in garbage, an annoyed expression on her face._

"_I really hate that," she muttered darkly and accepted his hand which easily brought her to her own two feet._

_He smiled his ghost of a smile as his eyes hungrily wandered over her body._

"_Only you, Babe," he fondly replied, a warmth shining in his eyes that made her fidget._

_Self-consciously, she brushed some food off of her tank top. "Maybe I should just quit the job and flee. Find a place where nobody has heard of the Bombshell Bounty Hunter and her many problems."_

_He raised an eyebrow. "You think there is a country that hasn't?" He teased._

"_Very funny, buddy," she sulkily answered, sighing in resignation. _

_Unexpectedly, he took two steps forward and embraced her in a tight hug. "If you every faced a situation that causes you to leave the country, I'd do anything to help you solve it." He sincerely promised. _

_She felt her breath caught in her throat for a moment but soon found herself slinging her arms around his waist, snuggling her face happily to his chest._

"_But what if you were part of the problem?" she hypothetically asked, closing her eyes as the feelings of being protected and… loved clouded her mind and heart._

"_Anything," he hotly repeated, laying his head atop of hers. "Even staying away, if it is what you wanted." He elaborated before placing a loving kiss to her messy hair. Inwardly hoping with all his heart that she would never feel the need to leave him ever._

**End Flashback**

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Well, I'm back, kind of. A new story. I wanted something a lot more cheerful and funny. How was it? Anyone want it to be continued? 


	2. Step Two

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

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**Chapter 2**

**Step Two: Try to avoid new problems**

The next day the Mary Lou I have known all my life was back. She told me all about her children and how hard Lenny was working that I even got the impression that she wanted to justify Lenny's behaviour to herself.

That was good. Very good. Now it was legitimate for me to freak out for the both of us.

Or so I thought.

Unfortunately for me, her understanding didn't last long.

As soon as we made ourselves comfy at the beach once more – to my utter chagrin – she analysed every supposedly husband and father we came across and how far he was involved in the family workings.

Soon she was ranting again about how dispassionate and uninterested Lenny was and that she had the feeling that he wouldn't care about her and her daily life.

Once in a while the fleeting thought crossed my mind that she could be pregnant, but I knew for a fact that she wasn't. I guess, otherwise the mood swings would have been much, much, _much_ worse…

"Hello ladies," someone interrupted one of our seldom but nonetheless much appreciated silences.

There he was, the coconut-man.

Why wasn't I as surprised to see him as I should have been? Guess all those maniacs breaking into my apartment in the middle of the night did quite the job in toughening me…

"Yo," I automatically greeted and gained a surprised grin from him. Then he flashed me a broad smile, quite similar to those Ranger smiles – but not as bright, or sexy.

"You know," Mary Lou said. "It's really funny that we're seeing you again this soon."

Martouf scratched one side of his head with a silly expression on his face. "Well, how can you expect me to stay away from two so lovely ladies such as you are?"

Nice, real nice. He kind of overdid it for my liking with all his compliments. Or maybe I was too suspicious because I was only used to good old innuendoes from the men back home. Well, thinking about it, that's kind of sad actually…

However, Mary Lou's uncharacteristic giggle brought me back to the situation at hand, showing me how serious my best friend's emotional status really was that caused her to behave like that because of the mere presence of a male. Plus making it obvious how extremely attention-deprived she was from Lenny.

That was sad, too.

"Enjoying your time, ladies? I hope you like it here in Spain so far." Martouf asked, seemingly trying to set up a conversation that wouldn't cause Mary Lou to reduce herself to a little schoolgirl. Well, I at least hoped that was his intention – though I highly doubted it.

"You mean right now?" Mary Lou attempted to clarify before a mischievous smile spread across her face. "Oh yeah."

Dear God. Tell me she didn't just say that like _that_. I felt like I was catapulted back to our High School time. On the other hand, just thinking about me behaving that exact same way while trying to hit on Morelli made me sick. Yikes.

"It's nice," I hastily said, trying to bring the conversation on safer ground.

To his credit, he did not look at all freaked out by Mary Lou's not so subtle advances. However, despite his cool and brash demeanour I couldn't help but feel reminded of Ranger when he had to face Grandma Mazur.

Unconsciously a gleeful smile made its way on my face, successfully kicking away the frown that had appeared because of the disturbing reminder of my youth. Oh yes, it was always immense fun to watch Ranger squirm when being confronted with my still overly hormonal grandmother…

"Did you plan anything for today?" Martouf inquired with a sincere expression of curiosity in his eyes.

"No, not really," I said, instantly moody again. Spain was a beautiful country – as far as I had been able to observe through the window on the plane; but that was about it. I knew nothing else. I didn't know anything about the towns or cities nearby, about the people living here, about the culture. I was in Europe for once in my life and I couldn't even do anything except for lying at the beach and sunbathe.

Well, maybe I was exaggerating a little seeing as it was only our second day in Spain, but I felt strange. There was an exciting twist in my stomach telling me about an oncoming storm and I just had no clue what it was that I would have to face. I trusted my _spidey sense_ and I knew I was in for something… unsuspecting. That of course led me to the two men in my life. Sure, the possibility of Morelli or Ranger following me here to Spain had crossed my mind once or twice, but I had told them not to come look for me in the note that I left for them.

And they better did as I wished.

I knew they would be worried about me and the fact that I felt the need to disappear just like that, but hey, at least this time I did give them a brief explanation in form of a short note. Morelli should be happy about this, considering that one time when I called him to tell him I was in Las Vegas with Connie and Lula before he even knew anything about our trip…

Grudgingly, I had to face the fact that neither Morelli nor Ranger would listen to my wishes if they felt it necessary for my health or their male satisfaction to force their own plans on me. I had let them do that to me for long enough now, and if they really did come here, thus disregarding my request, _they would be in_ for some serious trouble…

"Stop brooding already!" Mary Lou suddenly shrieked and I winced. "Geez, you'd think the world came crashing down by the frown on your face!"

I raised an eyebrow at her. Anybody sexually frustrated here apart from me? Absolutely. It was a good thing that I was beginning to support my new theory of Martouf being the kind of man that liked to flirt without going to the extreme – otherwise I would have been very worried about Mary Lou's future actions. I mean look at me, I did too really stupid things when I was horny, especially with Ranger, that left me in the end only more sexually frustrated than before…

"Mary Lou," I solemnly declared. "We need to do something."

Now it was her turn to quirk an eyebrow. "Steph, Hon, we _are_ doing something."

"Oh yeah? Then tell me, what are we doing?"

"We're lying at the beach… observing," she mysteriously said in a stage whisper.

"Observing?" I incredulously repeated. "Are you Miss Marple or what?"

She looked actually thoughtful for a moment. "Didn't we play Miss Marple when we were younger?"

Well, that was true. But our days then had been filled with snooping around in the neighbourhood, discovering imaginary crime scenes.

"I really need to do something," I forcefully replied. "My mind is already all mushy and chaotic."

Mary Lou rolled her eyes in proper Burg style. "Steph, your mind is always mushy and chaotic. Most of all when men are concerned."

Mmh, if you look at it that way…

I looked up to the male who listened closely to our conversation, amusement clearly written all over his face. Martouf smiled at us, presenting us two rows of blinking white teeth. He did definitely smile too much to be one of the Merry Men. What a bummer! I would have very much enjoyed it to see everybody in the Burg swooning over him while I was already on first name basis with him. If he did visit sometime… you know. That would have been cool.

"Where're your men anyway? Didn't they want to join their ladies on the journey to use the chance and enjoy themselves far away from work and such?" Martouf asked, obviously trying to pry into the Steph-always-has-men-problems-thing. Thanks Mary Lou. Let everyone think I'm incapable of interacting with the male sex. Martouf seemed to notice my peeved mood and added, "I didn't mean to offend you. But I'm curious as to what caused them to let two very beautiful women travel on their own to a foreign country full of red-blooded males."

Sounded definitely better this way… if you disregarded the fact that either one of Morelli and Ranger would have probably jumped at the idea of sending me to a _safe_ place for a while if they had just _known_ beforehand that I planned to leave the country for an unlimited amount of time.

Mary Lou was also unhappy with that topic if it was any indication how uneasily she was tinkering with her neon pink sunglasses.

"Well… They didn't really have any say in that matter," she elusively said.

Martouf cocked his head to the side and looked inquiringly at me. I just shrugged in return. "The purpose of this trip is to kind of avoid them for some time."

He chuckled. "Sounds bad."

Both Mary Lou and I grunted our agreement.

He clapped his hands together excitedly, looking suspiciously like a little kid on Christmas Eve. "How about I make sure you'll forget about them altogether and just have a fun time?"

Yes, please!

"And how are you going to do that?" Mary Lou asked a little wary and I was relieved to see a spark of her true self that wouldn't trust a stranger completely despite being smitten with him.

"You'll just have to wait and see," winked Martouf. "Go to '_La __sol'_ down the boardwalk," he advised.

He said his goodbyes and went on yelling "Coconuts" all over the beach.

Silence emitted once again, leaving each one of us to our own thoughts.

I risked a glance at my best friend and instantly met hers.

"I want to go," Mary Lou simply stated.

I eyed her critically. "Okay. I want to go too."

"Okay," she said. We looked at each other and smiled. Somehow I felt myself reminded of the good old times when she and I would sneak off to some parties in the middle of the night. I had felt the same connection with her like I was feeling now. I had to admit it felt good to spend some time with my best friend away from the Burg and the problems that awaited us there. Although it was only borrowed time.

"I like him, you know," Mary Lou uncertainly continued. "He's such a free spirit, so spontaneous and carefree. Just like Lenny and I had been before the kids came."

Well, children did have a knack for changing one's life.

"I guess I just sometimes wish Lenny would still see me as a woman and not just as the mother of his kids."

Finally she talked about the core of the whole problem.

"I'm sure you're overreacting," I tried to soothe. "Maybe it is because Lenny and you have been together for so long that he doesn't feel it's necessary to show his affections towards you, but don't believe for a second that he only sees you as a birth machine."

She cracked a tired smile and squeezed my hand gratefully.

And it was at that moment that I made a terrible mistake.

"I mean he certainly takes you out to a restaurant once in a while. Just the two of you, right?"

She looked up and shook her head lightly. "No."

"But he does bring you flowers?"

Her lips began to quiver and she shook her head again.

"Candy?"

Tears glimmered in her eyes and I frowned.

"Not even cake?"

And the dam broke and the floodgates opened.

Damn.

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In the early afternoon Mary Lou too had enough of sunbathing and we decided to stroll along the boardwalk and check out the bistros and restaurants. Halfway we found '_La sol'_, the bistro Martouf had been talking about.

Nosily we entered and instantly became spectators of an angry, passionate and very loud dispute between two Spanish men who looked like they were in their mid-twenties.

Tentatively Mary Lou and I seated ourselves at one of the round tables near the exit, just in case, you know. There were no other customers present and for a moment I entertained the idea of quickly leaving again – if one of the men hadn't suddenly noticed our presence.

Eventually one of the men stopped his Spanish yelling and looked over to us, his hands hanging redundantly in the middle of the air and his dark eyes blazing with fire.

Hissing something to his counterpart he gave us a tight smile before disappearing behind the counter.

The other man only rolled his eyes and sauntered over to us, a charming smile on his lips. As he stood at our table he said something in rapid Spanish and looked expectantly at us.

Cluelessly we stared back at him.

Amusement filled his eyes as he chuckled. "I take it you don't speak our lovely language, _guapas_?" he said, his voice laced with a heavy accent that was pretty cute.

"Nope," Mary Lou said and took one of the menus he was offering us.

"Have you ever been to Spain before?" he went on asking while very obviously checking me out. Though it did wonders to my ego to be admired by a young man, it did make me feel kind of exposed.

"Nope," Mary Lou answered again, smirking as she watched me being agitated.

Scowling at her, I turned and tried to take the second menu from the waiter, but he refused to let go for a long moment until I looked up into his eyes and then he said, "Then let me give you a tour of all the important places around here, especially those for two." He winked at me.

"Are all Spanish men flirts?" I asked, ignoring his innuendo and Mary Lou's laughter.

He smirked smugly. "Ah, no, only _mi amigo_ Martouf and I." He glanced at Mary Lou. "If you stay a little longer I'll introduce you to him."

"Not necessary," my best friend chirped cheerfully. "We already met him."

"You did?" he asked with a raised eyebrow, smirk still firmly in place.

"Yeah," I said. "At the beach, yesterday."

"And today," Mary Lou helpfully said.

"Oh!" the waiter exclaimed, his eyes shining with glee. "It's you!" He looked us up and down with new-found interest. "Martouf has already told me about you." He stuck his hand out to a stunned Mary Lou. "I'm Raúl. You must be Mary Lou, right?"

After shaking her hand he kissed both of her cheeks.

Turning to me he also kissed either side of my face before grinning seductively at me and brushing his lips across the back of my hand. "So, you're Stephanie. How convenient."

I'm quite sure I blushed deep crimson like a little schoolgirl. I was no better than Mary Lou.

Raúl straightened himself again. "_Las discotecas_ in Lloret de Mar are quite famous. Do us the honour and accompany Martouf and I tonight."

Before I had time to react Mary Lou happily agreed and Raúl left with a last wink to walk over to the counter. Well, at least now we had something to do…

It was five in the afternoon when we returned to our hotel rooms.

A small package lay on the floor as I unlocked my door. I felt my heart pound painfully in my chest as I looked carefully around the room for anything suspicious. Picking up the package I searched for a clue as to who the addresser might be, but couldn't find anything.

Opening it against my better judgement I pulled out a single white card with the word **_"Babe"_** written on it and a stun gun.

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**Flashback**

_"I really don't know why you insist on me carrying a gun," she said, looking pointedly at the little hole in Lula's red Firebird. "I can't shoot anyone. Even if I try I hit everything_ but _the lunatic."_

_He only looked amused, his dark eyes looking steadily into her blue ones. He was still on alert as his tense body showed, ready to react in any moment if necessary._

_"I'm your boss. I need to make sure you're safe."_

_She snorted. "I'm never safe. I could be equipped with several guns, knives and stun guns and I'd probably still be a hopeless case."_

_He smirked._

_"Probably."_

_She couldn't find any amusement in her situation and fixed him with a fierce glare._

_"Stop making me carry the gun."_

_"Stop bringing yourself in dangerous situations," he shot back._

_"That's not fair!" she indignantly exclaimed. "It's my job to be in danger."_

_"Very true," he admitted before adding, "And that's why you need to make precautions like carrying a gun."_

_She rolled her eyes. "Fine. But let me at least only carry a stun gun."_

_"What's with you and the stun gun? As far as I know you seem to actually like using it," he said before giving her a broad grin. "Especially on my men."_

_"We have a truce," she said, ignoring his last comment._

_Raising an eyebrow, he asked, "A truce? With the stun gun?"_

_"Yeah," she slowly said. "We're working good together, don't you think? I mean ask_ your men_."_

_He chuckled deeply before slinging an arm around her shoulders and closing the gap between them. Kissing her forehead, he whispered, "Only you, Babe. Only you."_

**End Flashback**


	3. Step Three

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

* * *

**Chapter 3 **

**Step Three: Forget all about your problems for a while**

At approximately ten that night, Mary Lou and I stepped – fully dressed and ready for anything – out of the lobby of our hotel and into the cool night of Canyelles. As agreed we were greeted by two Spanish males who themselves had taken quite the effort in looking appropriate.

Both Raúl and Martouf brushed their lips across our cheeks – Raúl's lingering on mine for a tad bit longer than customary – before leading us to a shiny black Mercedes.

Mary Lou and I took the backseats whilst Raúl the passenger and Martouf the driver's seat.

I sighed contentedly as I sank into the soft velvety seat and felt a wave of nostalgia hit me as it immediately reminded me of Ranger.

As the car smoothly climbed up the hill to the highway, I casually remarked, "I guess you earn good money with selling coconuts, huh?"

Martouf and Raúl only laughed.

A quarter of an hour later Martouf parked the vehicle in one of the side-roads of Lloret de Mar, a few hundred metres away from the boardwalk.

Chattering friendly with each other we strolled along the streets until we finally reached the boardwalk. Streams of people crossed our path and it was funny to see how many tourists from different countries obviously spent their holidays here.

Lanterns and cafés and restaurants on the one side, the view of the beach and the moon illuminating the ocean on the other one.

It was really incredible.

Though, I admit, I had been to clubs and things like that a lot in the past years; it had mostly been with a not so joyful purpose: like catching the eye of lunatics or trying to drink my sorrow away.

But this time, this night, did only belong to me. With no one out there to ruin it. I would shut my mind down from all my problems back in the Burg and just savour a night out with my best friend.

This was our night.

Mary Lou gave me a quizzical look as to why I was smiling like a moron, but I only shook my head and addressed our two _personal hot packages_, as Grandma Mazur would put it.

"So, where do we go first?"

Raúl exchanged a rather mischievous grin with Martouf before gallantly offering me his arm. "I'll lead the way, _guapa_," he said and winked at me.

Rolling my eyes I let a laugh escape my lips at his antics.

This boy was really far too young for me.

As we continued our way along the beach, soft music floated over to our ears from the different establishments we passed. Teenage boys offered us little cards which advertised discos that were close-by.

The atmosphere was on the one hand strangely calm and filled with contentment, and on the other hand excited and full of pure joy. I felt myself relax more and more as the night wore on and simply enjoyed the company of my best friend and two very nice but also very flirtatious males.

True to their word, Martouf and Raúl brought us to their favourite discos and showed us their definition of a "fun time".

Apart from amusing Mary Lou and me with their non-stop and – as we quickly learned – playful flirting, they made us laugh with their stupid stunts and the boyish grins on their faces.

It was really a wonder that nobody kicked us out of the clubs because of our crazy escorts.

They were really something else.

From coaxing foreign people into stupid contests with them over transforming the dancing crowd into their fan club to making elder looking waitresses with evil expressions on their chubby faces blush.

It was awesome. These two men certainly knew how to make a night unforgettable. And I was so very grateful that they shared this experience with us. I felt happier that one night than I had in a long while and one look at Mary Lou's beaming face told me that she felt the same.

I mean I never went out with either Morelli or Ranger on a simple, boring, ordinary _date_. It was always job-related or had something to do with our families, but there had never been a real date with just a guy and I and a night away from home. At least there had not been a date like that since my divorce.

So it was a nice change.

Mary Lou and I soon loosened up as well and joined in on all their craziness.

At the end of the night my stomach and cheeks hurt from laughing so much and my whole face was stretched into a broad smile that just wouldn't go away.

Physically spent, the four of us lay down at the beach, two bottles of Sangria sticking out of the sand between us.

"So, ladies, had fun tonight?" Martof eventually asked, the only one of us who was sober.

"It was awesome," I honestly replied.

"Oh yeah," Mary Lou agreed, raking a hand through the still warm sand underneath her.

Raúl smirked self-satisfactorily. "Great. So, how about you forget the two morons at home and become better acquainted with me." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, causing me to chuckle. And to feel a little bit flattered.

"Oh, by the way, Steph, what did you do about the card and the stun gun?" Mary Lou interjected.

Martouf looked up with a puzzled expression on his face. "Stun gun?"

I waved my hand which unfortunately wavered a little bit. "Nah, only one of the two _morons_ back home that felt it was necessary to remind me of the fact that I can't protect myself from all the weirdoes out there, waiting to catch me," I slurred, though the bitterness in my voice was unmistakable, generating different kinds of reaction from my companions.

Martouf winced dramatically, Mary Lou choked on the Sangria she was just drinking and Raúl laughed heartily.

Remembering Mary Lou's question, I added, "I threw the stun gun into my suitcase. You know, if you think about it Ranger is a weirdo too with all of his Batman behaviour and such. Maybe I should consider his demand and test the stun gun on him the next time I see him."

"Maybe we should head back to the hotel. Steph does seem to be a bit drunk," Mary Lou worriedly suggested.

Clumsily, I turned my head to the side in order to have a better look at her.

"No," I protested, shaking my head vehemently which I stopped shortly after a diabolic headache made my mind spin. "I feel good. In fact, I feel better than good. I feel great." I closed my eyes drowsily. "I just miss Rex." Well, and maybe Morelli and Ranger too. But there was no need to mention that out loud.

While Mary Lou squeezed my hand comfortingly, the two males with us remained clueless.

"Rex?" Raúl curiously inquired. "The other one of 'the morons from back home'?"

Grinning, I shook my head. "Nope. Rex is my hamster."

"Where is he now?" Mary Lou asked, holding the side of her head with one hand.

"At Mrs Bestler's."

She narrowed her eyes at me, clearly confused. "Huh?"

I shrugged with one shoulder. "Well, she's taking care of him and in return I'll tell her every _juicy_ detail of the hot men in Spain."

Raúl puffed out his chest in a proud manner and Mary Lou giggled girlishly.

"Okay, kids, time to go home," Martouf announced and coaxed us back to the car.

The drive back to the hotel was filled with stupid jokes and laughter – a quite pleasant ending for the night.

When we arrived in front of our hotel a short while later, Martouf voluntarily helped Mary Lou and me out onto the street where we proceeded to perform our parting ceremony.

Mary Lou dutifully thanked them for the wonderful night and other pleasantries were exchanged – though most of them were rather not so serious pleasantries considering the drunken state of three quarter of our group.

All of a sudden, however, Mary Lou narrowed her eyes into small slits and stared hard into the distance.

"Mmh, looks like one of the Merry Men," she murmured thoughtfully.

Hearing her low spoken words nonetheless, I turned my head sharply in the direction she was looking at and my gaze fell on a single figure dressed in black, standing over the road next to an equally dark car.

"That's because he _is_ one of the Merry Men," I said, completely astonished due to the unexpected revelation.

I was just about to walk over to the man and confront him as he suddenly winked at me and drove away in his black BMW.

000000000000000000

**Flashback**

"_I hate it when you put some frigging tracking device on me!" she screamed, not caring that the whole staff of RangeMan surrounded them. "Without my consent!"_

_Ranger's dark eyes glittered with stubborn determination as he crossed his arms over his chest._

"_I want to know where you are at all times," he said._

"_You're so frigging self-righteous that it makes me sick!" she hollered and in her anger clenched her hands into tight fists._

_He only raised an eyebrow and didn't bother with a reply. He threw one look around the room at all the spectators and shortly after the room was vacant save for the two of them._

_His gaze returned to her once again and the hard lines around his eyes and jaw relaxed a little._

"_You know, if you trust so little in my abilities, then I don't understand why you're so adamant about me doing some jobs for you." Her entire form was shaking from silent fury and disappointment._

_He let an uncharacteristic sigh escape his lips before he stepped forward and enveloped her into a tight hug._

"_Babe, every car of my employees is being tracked." He stroked her hair affectionately before pressing a small kiss to her forehead. "It's about making sure you're all right, not about trust."_

_She sniffled a little and suddenly felt ashamed of herself. She knew she was being unreasonable and unfair. But ever since she found out that she was in love with both Morelli and Ranger she felt inexplicably on edge. Her emotions ran wild and her mind overanalysed the smallest of things. It was driving her insane and she neither knew what the cause of all of this was nor how to stop this madness._

_She was at the turning point, that much she realised, but she wasn't ready. She wasn't ready to face the main problem in her life and make a decision that would not only affect her life but also the ones of the two most important men in her life._

_Maybe she wasn't ready to handle all the pressure she put on herself._

_She only knew that she needed to keep her distance from Morelli and Ranger and everything related to them for a while. Otherwise she would just… burst._

_Pushing away from his arms and his comforting embrace, she turned her head to the side, not wanting to look into his face. "I don't want you constantly tracking me and I don't want your men following me around. Start treating me like the part-employee that I am!"_

_The silence that followed her words was heavy and filled with unvoiced emotions and desires. She half-wished he would deny her the stupid wish she had just uttered and cradle her in his arms and call her _Babe.

_She closed her eyes. It was all too much, but she couldn't even run away. She couldn't even avoid this situation._

_She just wanted some time for herself, to think about what she really wanted. _Who_ she wanted._

_He didn't even say another word before he left her alone in her cubicle and softly shut the door behind him._

**End Flashback**


	4. Step Four

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

* * *

**Chapter 4 **

**Step Four: Unexpected developments may influence your final decision **

When I awoke the next morning, the first I noticed was the terrible headache that penetrated my head, the second thing was how awfully bright the sun shone.

By the time I finally found the strength to get up, breakfast was over and lunch was being served.

It did lighten my mood a little that Mary Lou was feeling equally bad – as mean as that may sound.

"Mary Lou?" I asked as I rubbed my forehead with my index finger. We were both seated at a rounded table in the dining-hall, but neither one of us felt really hungry at this moment. "Did we really see one of the Merry Men last night?"

"I don't know," she slowly answered, her eyebrows crunched together in thought. "I can't really remember. Did you see one?"

Sighing, I took a sip of my water. "I guess not. Maybe… I just dreamed I saw one."

Mary Lou grinned, amused. "Uh-oh, don't let Ranger hear that. Wouldn't want to let a homicidal Ranger to lunge at his men, now would we?"

I shot her a glare. "Shut up."

But of course she didn't listen.

"Who was it? Do I know him? Is he hot?"

Instinctively, I rolled my eyes.

Maybe she wasn't so affected by her hangover like me.

"Lester Santos," I said, not volunteering any further information.

"Hn," she eloquently replied. "Is he hot?"

I shrugged. "I guess so. I mean all of the Merry Men are hot."

She nodded. "True."

When we finished eating, we went for a walk along the beach, whilst busying ourselves with observing the different types of people around us.

As we got thirsty we bought a soda in one of the little pubs and sat outside at a table.

Though it couldn't compare to the action I had in the Burg, it felt nice to walk around and meet new people from all around the world without having to fear that some crazy lunatics were after me. A group of Englishmen even invited us to a bachelor party. (A/N: Happened to me once when I was in Prague LOL)We declined.

"What I've wanted to ask you for a while now: Why aren't you freaking out about Ranger knowing where you are?" Mary Lou curiously inquired.

I gave her a wry smile. "Ranger only needed to call the airport and let them check for my name."

She frowned. "How would he _know_ to search for you at the airport?"

I shot her a look.

"Oh right, he's Batman. Batman knows everything."

"Yeah," I sighed, "he's Batman."

"But wait a minute," she said. "What about Morelli? Do you think he knows where we are? Although he's Supercop, he doesn't have all the… qualities that Ranger has… On the other hand Morelli and Ranger do seem to co-operate whenever you're involved… So he probably does know you're here too!"

I watched her in surprise. "And you figured that out just yet?"

She scratched her head sheepishly. "Well… now it's at least clear why I never got to be Miss Marple when we were little…"

I rolled my eyes.

"Why are you so freaking calm?" she asked.

"Well, I for my part knew it was just a matter of time till they figured out where I was. So there's truly only one thing that could freak me out." I rubbed my temples tiredly. "As you know I came here to be on my own and especially far away from _them_ for a while. They got my notes. If they now disrespected my wishes and followed me here, it only would show that they don't care about my desires, wouldn't it? And that wouldn't only freak me out, but also make me very, very angry."

Mary Lou looked appalled. "That sounds like you're just waiting for one of them to come here so you can dismiss him."

I groaned. "No, of course not. I just... I don't know what to do. I love them both and at least Morelli loves me back, but what about Ranger? It's so complicated and I want to be with both, but that wouldn't be fair. And I don't how or who to choose. Maybe it would be better if I broke it off with both of them."

Mary Lou patted my hand sympathetically. "Don't worry, Hun. I'm sure you'll soon figure out who is the right one for you."

"You know, that did sound like you knew who is the right one for me."

She winked at me. "I'd rather call it favouring one of the two men for you."

"Who?" I curiously asked.

She shook her head vehemently. "I won't tell. At least not yet. You have to make your own decision first."

Damn, she was right.

In content silence we continued our stroll along the ocean until we reached a bay with a cute little boat floating in the water. The boat had originally been used by fishermen and anglers but now served as a way for tourists to get a nice view at the coast from the ocean.

Spontaneously, we bought some tickets and joined the fairly long queue.

Aboard we leaned against the railing and enjoyed the eerily peaceful journey.

It was shortly after our departure when someone tapped me lightly on the shoulder and I came face to face with a quite familiar figure.

"_Hola_, Bomber."

I wanted to faint. I really, really wanted to faint and believe it was all dream.

My poor mind needed a moment to process the fact that Lester Santos was here, standing right in front of me with a cheeky grin on his lips.

"I don't believe it!" I furiously exclaimed, glaring viciously at him. "You weren't just a dream! What the hell are you doing here!"

"Whoa, whoa," Lester said, raising his hands in defence. "Easy there, Bomber."

"Don't _Bomber_ me," I fumed. "I can't believe that Ranger did that."

"Calm down, Stephanie," he quietly said, placing one of his large hands on my shoulder.

I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply; in the background I could faintly hear Mary Lou muttering, "Now I remember him… That was the man who stood at the street when we came home last night… So my random discovery was right despite my drunken state…"

Always the perceptive one, that's my best friend for you. At least now she seemed to remember more of last night. Unfortunately it was too late, since it was now clear that I didn't dream Lester was there.

"You know, that didn't change anything. I'm still pretty mad right now." I dryly remarked.

"I guess that's understandable," he said and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Why are you here, Lester?"

He sighed in defeat whilst his facial expression turned serious.

"Ranger sent me."

That was painfully obvious.

"Why did he send you?"

He looked me directly in the eyes.

"To make sure you do nothing stupid." There was a hint of humour in his voice.

I raised my eyebrows. "Nothing stupid _like_?"

Lester's grin slowly returned. "Like attracting Spanish lunatics."

I rolled my eyes in exasperation. There was a sudden flash from the night before where I mentioned something like that in Lloret de Mar when I was drunk.

My hands gripped the railing tightly as my eyes surveyed the horizon.

"Go back to Ranger and tell him that I neither need a babysitter nor his obligatory feelings of protecting me. He has no responsibility for me."

Lester opened his mouth in shock. "Stephanie, he doesn't…. I think you misunderstood…"

"No, I didn't." I interrupted him.

"I agree with him," Mary Lou unexpectedly piped up, startling me because I had totally forgotten about her.

"He doesn't feel obligated or indebted to you because of business," Lester said, a frown on his face.

"But he doesn't care about me either; otherwise he would have come himself to make sure I'm all right."

Mary Lou bit her lip quizzically. "But I thought you didn't want him to follow you here…"

"That's not the point!" I said in frustration.

Mary Lou shook her head. "You are such a hypocrite…."

Lester, who had been scrutinising me, quietly said, "I understand what you mean, but you're still wrong to assume he doesn't care about you."

I didn't believe him. I didn't know what to believe at all anymore. Everything was just so confusing…

So I changed the topic and introduced Lester and Mary Lou to each other. My best friend was positively excited to meet one of the Merry Men personally, while Lester appeared to be amused by her childish delight.

They began a casual small-talk about Spain in general and the differences between Europe and the USA.

After their polite chatter had ceased, Lester randomly questioned, "I still don't know why you've gone through all the trouble of sneaking away in the middle of the night to border a plane and come here. I don't think that anyone would have tried to stop you if you had informed them beforehand."

"It seemed like a good idea at the time," I said, a little unsure. "Plus, it was much more fun this way."

Yeah, because as soon as my mother gets a hold of me the fun will find its end… And then there's also Morelli's family… I mean, technically I was still his girlfriend…

Lester grinned broadly. "That's my Bomber!"

Contrary to popular belief, Lester was not only a 6feet tall toned and muscled wall with martial art skills, but also a very laid-back man who spoke more than one word willingly and even possessed a great sense of humour. Although his definition of humour was kind of twisted sometimes…

All in all Mary Lou and I had a great time with Lester, especially later on when we were all lazily relaxing at the beach.

Unfortunately he was also very nosy. He inquired again why we chose to leave Trenton like that and Mary Lou finally gave in and told him about Lenny and her problems with him. Surprisingly, Lester turned out to be a good listener and an even better adviser. He encouraged Mary Lou in her feelings and decision, and simultaneously tried to give her an insight into Lenny's situation.

That I was impressed was a great understatement.

Suddenly I was very glad that Lester was there to help Mary Lou with her worries, because honestly, I couldn't by far even imagine what her situation was like. I had two macho men in my life instead of a loyal husband, and I never ever wanted to have brats like my sister Valerie's.

If I hadn't been so grateful for Lester's understanding, I would have found it creepy and awfully unfair that all Merry Men seemed to be skilled in just everything… except for maybe Cal.

"Pal!" A by now quite familiar voice called. „Long time no see. How are you doing?"

I turned around in time to watch Lester stand and greet Martouf with one of those confusing but oh so manly handshaking rituals.

Wait a minute.

They knew each other!

After the two men had sufficiently finished their greeting, they told us that they knew each other back from military and that Martouf was working for RangeMan as well. Ranger, however, sent him to Spain after a few years to open and run a business company there.

"But why are you selling coconuts half of the day?" Mary Lou asked a little overwhelmed from being surrounded by two of Ranger's employees.

"Ah, well, it's kind of boring being in the company building all day when the weather is so nice," Martouf winked.

"He's not exactly a workaholic," Lester clarified with a wistful smile.

"Yeah," Martouf good-naturedly agreed. "But I found them, didn't I?" He said, indicating Mary Lou and me.

I raised an eyebrow.

Lester laughed. "I was really surprised when Ranger told me they were with you." He grinned mischievously at me. "The fact that you kept an eye on them was the only thing refraining him from leaving everything behind and find them himself."

I lifted my other eyebrow.

"Okay, you were supposed to find us?"

Both men looked at me like I'd grown another head before shaking their heads at me.

Well, that was informative.

I turned to Martouf. "And why didn't you tell us that you were one of Ranger's men?"

He grinned cheekily at me and his eyes sparkled with mirth. "I wanted to see for myself what Ranger's Babe was like before revealing who I am."

There was a warm and fuzzy feeling inside of me when he entitled me as _Ranger's Babe_.

000000000000000000

**Flashback**

"_Do you remember the conversation we had a few days ago?" she asked. "About me not wanting you to track me every step I take?"_

_His stoic face didn't change._

"_Damn it, Ranger! I neither want you to secretly put tracking devices on me nor for you to send one of your men after me as soon as I leave this building."_

_Her arms fluttered wildly in the air, emphasising her point by including the company building of RangeMan they were currently in._

"_It's for your own good, Babe."_

"_Stop saying stuff like that!" she angrily exclaimed, pressing the palm of her hand against her forehead in order to organise her thoughts._

_All of a sudden there were two strong arms enveloping her body in a comforting hug. _

"_As soon as you're out to help Lula with a skip or take part in a mission for me, I worry about you." His lips brushed her temple in a feathery kiss and her eyes closed automatically as a content sigh escaped her owns lips. "I can't help it." A warm hand massaged the back of her neck. "I feel better knowing at any minute of everyday where you are."_

_She wrapped her arms around his waist, savouring the feeling of completeness that suddenly washed over her. _

"_I just… I just always feel like you don't trust me and my abilities in some way. Like I'm not capable of staying out of trouble. I mean, you don't send Hal to track Tank when he is out somewhere."_

_She felt his lips curve into a grin against her cheek._

"_My men always have a partner when they're on an operation. You have Lula." His grin got wider. "And you never stay out of trouble."_

_She rolled her eyes but smiled a little._

_Both of his hands cupped her face so he could look deeply into her eyes. "And I do trust you and your abilities. But there were too many times for you to nearly die that I could leave you completely unprotected."_

_She shook her head at his words, not catching the slight fear in his voice or the hard determination in his eyes. _

_He knew she didn't entirely believe him, but he couldn't bring himself to say more. Not when she belonged to another._

**End Flashback**


	5. Step Five

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

* * *

**Chapter 5 **

**Step Five: Don't let a spontaneous confrontation with parts of your problem confuse you... too much**

"Talk."

Mmh. He did sound a little tired and irritable.

"Hey Ranger," I greeted and I could have sworn that I heard him take a deep, _very_ deep breath.

"Babe," he said, sounding husky all of a sudden. I felt my knees go weak.

_Focus_, I chastised myself and pressed Lester's cell phone a little closer to my ear.

"Don't you have a little more to say to me than 'Babe'?" I sarcastically asked, causing the anxious Lester next to me to actually flinch. "Like for example that you sent two of your men after me despite my note that specifically said **_not to come and look for me_**?!"

Ranger was – what else did I expect? – unimpressed by my little outburst. "I didn't _send_ Martouf to find you. He was lucky to meet you and recognise your faces from the photo."

"What photo? And it's bad enough that you sent one man at all!"

"You know," Lester piped in. "I really get the impression that I'm not very welcome here."

"Don't worry about it," Mary Lou tried to soothe and patted his shoulder. "She's just sexually frustrated, and above everything else completely disappointed in Ranger. Don't take it personally."

I was _so_ glad that **my** best friend and one of **Ranger**'s close friends bonded so good. Note the sarcasm.

"Disappointed in me, Babe?" Ranger asked and I inwardly cursed his good hearing.

Instinctively straightening my whole posture as if I was going to battle any moment, I gripped the phone a little tighter and growled, "I'm a grown-up woman, Ranger, and if I want to go on vacation to Spain, then I don't need you to send your watchdogs after me!"

"Now I'm offended!" Lester dramatically protested, but silenced immediately at facing my glare.

"Babe," Ranger's quiet voice cut through the haze of anger that momentarily clouded my mind. "You left in the middle of the night, nobody knew of your plans to travel to Europe and you expect me not to worry just because you left a single note for me that could have been written by anyone?"

I scrunched up my nose defiantly.

Well, if he said it like that, it did sound kind of reasonable…

"That may be true, but after you had checked the ticket reservations at the airport, you saw that Mary Lou was with me thus you knew I was in no danger at all! Surely, you talked to Lenny who told you he knew of our plans. But you still had someone come look after me! Stop treating me like a kid, Ranger! I deserve better than that!"

There was a moment of silence on the other end of the line.

"I'm not treating you like a kid, Babe. I'm protecting you."

"Yes, you do! You treat me like I can't stay away from trouble and can't get myself out of it!"

Ranger's voice turned silky. "Babe, you're a beautiful woman. That's a dangerous thing."

Despite my blush I was furious. "I have the distinct feeling that you're not taking me very seriously. I'm really mad at you right now and it's definitely the wrong time for your stupid jokes and innuendoes!"

Ranger sighed audibly. "Stephanie, I'm only worried about you. What is so wrong with that?" He asked, his voice serious and laced with an indecipherable edge.

"Nothing would be wrong with that if you actually were worried about me!" I shouted.

Well, that didn't only shut Ranger up, but also everybody else in my near vicinity.

Mary Lou looked mildly curious as to what had caused my outburst whilst Lester gazed up at me as if I'd just lost my mind. Couldn't really blame him.

"Care to explain what you mean by that?" Asked Ranger in a now very dangerous tone.

Yuck! If he used this voice on his skips, then it was no wonder that everybody was terrified of him. Alone the tone in his voice could make you quiver in fear.

But in this particular situation it was only he and I – and I was definitely no criminal who didn't show up at court and he was no Badass Super bounty Hunter trying to hunt me down. There was no need for him to use this particular type of voice to make me confess; though any other day it would have intimated me anyway.

But not this time. I was too far gone and too emotionally drained to feel anything, and the presented opportunity at having an argument was just the thing that I needed to let off steam.

"Listen, you know that's the truth, and I know it as well, so stop trying to pretend you care!"

"Explain," he curtly demanded.

"Ugh!" Frustratedly, I threw my free hand into the air. "You still feel obligated to me because of all this Eliza Doolittle and Professor Higgins thing, and that's why you think you need to protect me because you were the one I was entrusted to and you were the one that introduced me into the bounty hunter business. There, now, happy?" I took a deep breath.

"That's bull," Lester protested, standing to his full height and sending me a reproachful look. It was kind of odd to see him in a truly grave mood for once. "I can't believe you just said that."

"Go, girl!" Mary Lou cried, thrusting her fist into the air.

Both Lester and I turned to look at her. She shrugged at Lester's glare. "What? She's my best friend, so it's practically prearranged that I have to side with her." I narrowed my eyes and she hurriedly added, "And Ranger's totally using her."

Uh-oh.

Mary Lou looked scared the minute those words left her mouth while Lester's face started to turn red. It wasn't a nice red either. More like a 'all hell's gonna break loose' red.

"Tell Mary Lou to kindly repeat that," a dark voice growled into my ear, startling me.

I gulped uneasily but didn't comply his demand.

"No, I won't, because she's right."

"She is?" Lester incredulously asked, whirling around to face me.

"Yes?" My voice wavered only slightly. I swear. And it didn't sound like a question. Nope.

Who was I kidding? My mind stopped working the minute Ranger's voice filled my ear. And now I desperately tried to get my brain to start working.

I wasn't really successful, was I? I mean this whole conversation didn't make any sense. Ranger still patronised me; Lester changed moods faster than I could say 'yo'; and Mary Lou seemed to just go with the flow… whatever that means. And we certainly don't want to analyse me, do we?

"See," Mary Lou satisfactorily exclaimed, visibly relaxing. She was eyeing the phone in my hand rather warily, though. As if she was afraid of Ranger jumping out of it any minute to punish her for what she said.

"And how the hell did he use her?" Lester shouted. "Because as far as I can remember it wasn't Stephanie who gave Ranger expensive cars just like that, and saved her from all those weirdoes that were after her!"

"That's exactly what I was talking about!" I triumphantly interjected. "He does all this, but only because he feels like he should do that for me, not because he wants to do that for me!"

Lester rolled his eyes, whilst Mary Lou nodded. "Where's the difference?" Lester asked.

"The difference is that he feels it is his obligation to make sure I'm alive and well because he was asked to be my mentor, but he doesn't care about my person."

"And why is he flirting with you, then? Why is he _visiting_ you at night? I mean, come on, visiting?!"

"How should I know?! That's where he's using me! Maybe Joe is right and he is some sick mercenary that only serves his own twisted pleasures!" I screamed back. Wow, where did that come from? Maybe I spent too much time with Mooner… or grandma Mazur. I mean craziness _did_ run in my family…

Lester shook his head at me, a truly sad smile on his face.

"You have no idea, do you?" he whispered.

"So this is about Morelli," Ranger quietly observed and I cringed at his tone. There was no emotion. Not even a ghost or a hint of something that could give me a clue of what he was thinking.

"It's not!" I weakly protested.

"It always is," Ranger softly continued as if he never heard my reply.

"He only tries to look out for me. He's a good man," I tried to explain but winced myself as I realised that it rather sounded like I placed Morelli in the role of the good and Ranger in the one of the bad guy.

"You would never leave him for me." My heart skipped a bit. Was there a hint of defeat in his voice?

"Ranger, I…" Honestly, I didn't know what to say. He was scaring me totally with his unusual behaviour. Plus, I was definitely overstrained with this whole conversation. It changed directions so often that my poor Ranger-induced brain had a hard time keeping up to its pace.

The current moment of tense silence didn't help either. It only made me more nervous. I could practical feel something change between Ranger and me. Something I couldn't name or pinpoint; and then he softly asked, "Would you leave _him_ for me?"

Yes! "No!" What?! "I wouldn't leave Joe for you!" I hated how my voice shook.

"That so was a lie," Mary Lou fiercely mused to a troubled looking Lester. His eyes practically screamed betrayal for what I just denied.

Thanks, Mary Lou, where was the flow again?

But what really disturbed me was the silence on the other end of the line. I couldn't even hear him breathe anymore.

Was that a good sign or a bad one?

I was just about to call Ranger's name as he tersely replied, "I see you still need time."

Then he hung up.

Okay… That was weird. I stared at the cell phone in my hand in bewilderment. Then I frowned. I still needed time?! For what?!

"Well… what just happened?"

Lester only sent me a glare and snatched his cell phone away from me. I watched him punch a few buttons on it before pressing it to his ear and leaving the room.

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"So, _guapas_, what did you do today?" Raúl curiously inquired as he took the seat beside me and greeted us with a bright smile.

"Uh…" Mary Lou briefly glanced at a stoic Lester. "You know, the usual. This… and that…"

Raúl grinned good-naturedly before turning to me. He threw one arm around my shoulders and grinned wickedly at me. "Sounds pretty boring. Shall I make your evening more… _interesting_?"

I rolled my eyes for good measure, but a small smile made its way on my face anyway. He was just too adorable sometimes.

Raúl beamed happily. "Ah, finally, a smile!"

I couldn't help but smile a little wider at his genuine happiness. And just because of such a small thing.

The harsh sound of someone coughing, however, destroyed the peaceful moment. My eyes wandered over Raúl's head to Lester. Since entering this bistro and meeting Raúl, Ranger's slightly disgruntled employee had been watching the Spanish waiter and me like a hawk. It was quite unnerving.

Raúl acknowledged his behaviour only with a raised eyebrow; not asking any questions or challenging Lester in any way – for which I was eternally grateful. I had had enough excitement for one day.

We didn't stay long at the bistro. Mary Lou decided to buy a souvenir in one of the shops lining the boardwalk, whilst I climbed onto the rocks separating the ocean from the beach. The hard and chiselled cliffs warmed my skin as I lay down to gaze up at the deep blue sky. As much as I wanted to, I didn't let myself relax completely – knowing that Lester had been following me for quite some time.

I guessed I couldn't delay the upcoming lecture any longer.

And there he was, sitting down next to me and studying me with this odd seriousness of his that he only recently acquired.

"I'm not going to tell you what to do or anything," he quietly began, sighing softly when he saw my doubtful expression. "I just want to ask you not to jump to conclusions like that." I guessed he meant my whole theory of Ranger only protecting me because he was my mentor. "It's hard to read Ranger and all his intentions, but please, at least give him the chance to explain himself when he's ready to."

I was stunned for a second. Wow, it was so rare for Ranger and his Merry Men to actually beg for something that I always had this creepy urge to give them a cookie when they did.

Lester looked imploringly – or as imploringly as one of RangeMan's employees could look – at me. Even more creepy.

But what could it hurt to say yes? I mean it wasn't like the day would ever come that Ranger would open up to me.

Right?

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**Flashback**

_"You know, I'm really tired of your secret identity," she sarcastically remarked, tiredly flopping down on the couch in her apartment._

_He seated himself across from her, regarding her with carefully schooled features._

_"I don't have a secret identity. My name is Ricardo Carlos Manoso."_

_She rolled her eyes, irritated. "Very funny, Ranger. I'm always surprised at your sense of humour," she dryly remarked before turning serious again. "You know exactly what I'm talking about."_

_"Why do you want to know more about my life?" he asked._

_"Because I want us to be friends! Real friends. I even know more about Connie, and she has mob connections as well."_

_"Friends?" he sardonically repeated. "You want us to be friends?"_

_She flushed a deep crimson. "Gee, you don't have to sound so excited about it," she snapped defensively, averting her eyes to her hamster._

_"Why would you want us to be… friends?" Ranger asked, emphasising the last word in a strange way._

_She felt like a child all over again; wanting to gain a new friend. The whole situation was awkward, to the say the least, but it was the only way she could think of to get emotionally closer to the man across from her. Until now, they always had a mentor-pupil relationship with occasional sexual situations; but they never really made any progress on the emotional basis._

_She wanted to finally change that and get to know the mysterious man whom she felt drawn to._

_Unfortunately, he didn't seem at all interested in letting her into his life – except when business was involved._

_Since she was both bad and afraid of analysing her own feelings concerning this dangerous and secretive man, she felt it was safe enough to try friendship with him – seeing as she knew that she needed him in her life in some way._

_But it was harder than she expected, however. She had always thought that he felt something positive for her as well, but now it seemed like she had been wrong._

_"You know what?" she tiredly said. "Just forget it. Go back to the Bat Cave and leave everything the way it is."_

_His eyes seemed to soften at her defeated tone and he reached out to grab her hand. She felt something inside of her as his lips slowly brushed over the palm of her hand, whilst his eyes never strayed from hers._

_"What is wrong with the way things are?" he asked._

_The warm feelings evaporated at once. "It can't stay like this. You making me feel like I mean something to you at times, only to make it look like I'm just one of your allegiances at others." She breathed in deeply as he dropped her hand. His eyes seemed turned blank again, shutting her out once again. "You're so confusing!" she suddenly exploded, fed up with Ranger and her own odd feelings. Why was she so upset that he emotionally pushed her away? She didn't know why. She didn't want to know._

_"You're a paradox yourself," he calmly said. "It's a well-known fact that you're with Morelli; and here you are trying to convince me of telling you things from my life less than five people know about. Why would you want to know? You're quite confusing."_

_"Well…. I can't really help it!" she exclaimed, feeling defensive once again._

_Ranger smiled somewhat bitterly. "If you don't even know why you'd want us to be close then there is no point in trying."_

_His eyes studied her for a moment longer before he stood up and walked out of her apartment, leaving a bewildered woman behind._

**End Flashback**


	6. Step Six

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

* * *

**Chapter 6 **

**Step Six: Experiences of others may reveal your own true longings**

The next morning I awoke to the blaring of my room telephone. Almost falling out of bed as I attempted to reach the phone without opening my eyes, I cursed colourfully under my breath.

"What?" I grumbled into the phone.

"Decided yet when you'll come back home?" A familiar voice asked.

I rolled my eyes. Should have known Ranger would have Lester tell him my telephone number. Though I wondered why he called… The last phone call hadn't ended all that well and I had rather thought he'd distance himself from me for a while.

Sighing, I rubbed my eyes and rolled myself onto my back. "No, not yet."

"There are a lot of files waiting for you, Babe," he baited, "and a lot of distraction jobs." His voice turned seductive and even though it caused shivers to run down my spine, I simultaneously felt my blood begin to boil.

"You know what? I just decided to stay here for a little longer. At least here I got someone who doesn't treat me like I'm only some piece of ass. He actually cares about me," I angrily spat.

"He?" Ranger repeated, his voice low and serious laced with an underlying warning.

Seems like someone wasn't informed of Raúl…

"Yes, _he_," I confirmed, feeling tired of the whole conversation all of a sudden. "Now, please excuse me, but I'm going to meet him. Bye."

I hung up before he had the chance to reply, and sat still for a moment. The conversation from the day before played vividly in my mind and I felt a stabbing pain in my stomach that Ranger obviously hadn't thought about my words. He still treated me like I was everything – except a loveable woman.

What a jerk.

Argh! I couldn't believe the nerve of that man! I mean he was hot, sure, but that didn't mean he could treat me like that!

I just wanted him to apologise for once in his life and treat me the way I deserved. Was this really too much to ask for?!

I forcefully pushed the sad feelings away and got myself ready for breakfast. What a bad start into the day… Hopefully Mary Lou was up as well. I definitely needed some female support.

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Mary Lou squeezed my hand lightly.

"I'm sorry," she sympathetically said. "I really don't understand him anymore. Not that there was actually a time when I did…" she began to ramble, crunching her eyebrows together in thought. "But you know what I mean. Now he's acting even more Batman-like than before… if that is even possible."

I tried to act nonchalant about the whole situation, not wanting to go deeper into a topic that only served to depress me, and would eventually destroy the first vacation I had in years in the process.

Mary Lou on the other hand didn't seem to share my concerns.

"…And why did he call this morning anyway? This just doesn't make any sense! I mean, yesterday he totally behaved like a poor, dejected man who's pining away for Superwoman-" I couldn't hide a grin at this despite my wish to change the subject completely "and today he calls like nothing happened at all and if there weren't unresolved issues between the two of you! That's just so… urgh!"

Mary Lou was breathing hard by the time she finally finished her rant, her face beet red and her eyes literally piercing the cup of coffee she was holding in her hand.

I could feel a sincere smile lingering stubbornly on my face. What would I do without my best friend?! I didn't have the heart to destroy the comfortable mood by pointing out that she hadn't been this certain about her opinion referring to Ranger the day before.

It didn't really matter anymore either. It felt nice enough to know somebody out there understood and supported my need of being away from that confusing man for a while.

Though I did kind of miss him… Argh!

Damn hormones.

"I had a long talk with Lester yesterday," Mary Lou suddenly blurted out as she seemingly tried to avoid looking at me.

Talk about subtle change of subject.

"What about?" I curiously asked.

"Well, actually about Lenny and me," she said, seeming to shrink up a little. "You're not angry, are you?"

I raised my eyebrows incredulously. I certainly hadn't expected _that_. I mean, sure, Lester was a nice guy and everything, but Mary Lou just met him and was already pouring her heart out to him?!

Colour me… surprised.

"Angry?" I asked in a high tone that made my insides cringe. "Why would I be angry?"

Her eyes scanned my reaction critically and I felt like some new species from another world that was being checked for any anomalies.

Yuck.

Eventually, Mary Lou shrugged her shoulders a tad bit too carelessly. "Just a thought. I mean, he's a stranger and a man, _Ranger's_ man, and you're my best friend… I just thought that it might bother you if I-"

"What do you mean by _Ranger's man_? Why did you point it out like that? It has nothing to do with Ranger, so why are you bringing him up at all?" I asked, feeling unexplainable anger all of a sudden.

"I didn't mean it like that-"

"Do you think my whole world resolves around him or what?" I shook my head bitterly. "It doesn't, all right? My world doesn't resolve around Morelli, and it sure as hell doesn't resolve around Ranger. Got it?"

She nodded weakly, biting her lower lip in obvious shame. We sat in an uncomfortable silence for a while, both not knowing what to say next.

"I'm sorry." Mary Lou finally whispered.

I sighed. "It's okay. I just… overreacted, I guess."

She just smiled in complete understanding. "It's okay."

I made a gesture with my hand. "Continue."

She hesitated for a moment before speaking, "Well, anyway, I told Lester of our problems and the way I feel and stuff, and he was really cool about it. He was a good listener and understood my feelings perfectly. It was awesome," she gushed, and I repeated it like a mantra in my head that she didn't mean it as a stab in my side when she emphasised Lester's good qualities as a friend. But there was this tiny feeling of jealousy that I just couldn't suppress. Damn.

"That's great," I said half-sincerely, for a part of me truly was relieved that she found someone who was a better advisor for her concerning those things than I ever would.

Her happiness vanished as fast as it emerged. Wow, she did change her moods pretty quickly – and that without being pregnant! I began to at least somewhat understand Lenny's problems with handling Mary Lou…

"Yes, that it is." She bit her lip again. "And he gave me some advice."

Well, that was to be expected, wasn't it? I mean, it would have very disturbing news if Lester Santos actually hadn't something to say to a matter.

"Which would be?"

"To see the situation from Lenny's point of view. And to have a serious talk with him soon."

That sounded kind of reasonable. I nodded my head in fake astonishment. "You know, I always think it's fascinating how Lester Santos, one of _the_ Merry Men, finds it important to use your mouth for other things than one-word threats just like normal people."

Mary Lou chuckled a little but sobered quickly. "I called him last night."

"Who?" I absently asked after taking a sip of coffee.

"Lenny."

I was a little dumbfounded. "Uh, that's great. What did he say?"

A small, happy smile full of love blossomed on her face; a smile I certainly hadn't seen on her for a while now.

"He said he missed me and wanted me to come back home."

This time the stab of jealousy was harder. I could practically feel it rip joyfully through my insides.

Mary Lou got a loving husband back home who's man enough to tell her his feelings while I'm stuck with two guys that are way too macho to admit anything remotely to the frightening 'f(eelings)'-word.

Having such a depressing moment so early in the morning was… well, just really depressing.

And it only got better.

"…So I decided to fly back home this afternoon."

Oh.

Well, what a freaking great way to start the day, huh?

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Despite the slight feeling of betrayal that ate away at me because of Mary Lou's plan to suddenly desert me on our vacation, I couldn't help but feel happy for her as well. She was so giddy to leave and see her family again. She had been so lively and happy the whole day that I just knew I couldn't really be mad at her for leaving me alone with my own problems.

Martouf, Raúl, Lester, Mary Lou and I celebrated Mary Lou's departure at the bistro where Raúl worked. Raúl actually had to work, but he preferred to celebrate with us and get into another screaming match with his boss instead of properly doing his job.

We had a fun time together and even Lester for once ceased his scowling at Raúl and me. When it was time for Mary Lou to go, she hugged each one of us and made Raúl and Martouf promise to visit her sometime in Trenton.

When she came to me there were tears in her eyes – tears of joy.

"Everything's going to be okay," she whispered as she hugged me tightly. "I'm going home."

I guess it was the moment where I finally understood the profound meaning of 'coming home'.

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The sun was just setting above the horizon as I took a stroll along the beach, my hands deeply shoved into the pockets of my shorts. I didn't want to get melancholic. Hell, I didn't even want to brood or anything. But recently I found myself more and more lost in my thoughts, and honestly, that just couldn't be healthy.

Stars began to twinkle in the darkening sky when wonder oh wonder Lester appeared at my side out of nowhere.

Jeez, was he a stalker or something?

The first couple of minutes we walked in silence. And quite frankly, that was kind of freaking me out. I mean Lester and silence – that just didn't fit.

So I said the first thing that came to my mind.

"You know, I'm kind of envious of Mary Lou." Lester's head turned to me and there was a look of concentration on his face but other than that he showed no reaction. "She has a house, kids and a loving husband. I live in an apartment, have a hamster and two men in my life that can't decide whether they love me or are just horny."

Lester put a comforting arm around my shoulders, squeezing me gently. "You and I both know that you don't really want Mary Lou's life. Otherwise you would have long been married to Morelli and would have acted as the perfect housewife." He gave me a soft smile that somewhat stilled the tumult of emotions inside of me. "You are something special, Bomber. And you lead a special life." Lester grinned down at me and I smacked his chest, hard.

Still grinning lopsidedly, he rubbed the wounded flesh and winked at me. Then he got serious again. "Someday there will be a guy who will recognise and value you for what you are: An extraordinary woman."

I bit my lip, trying to hide the fact that I was oddly touched by his words and the confidence he put behind them. There was no doubt that he truly believed what he just said.

"And who knows?" He continued, brushing imaginary dirt off of his tee-shirt. "Maybe you'll meet this someone tonight?"

I rolled my eyes and snorted. "Sure, in my dreams."

Lester shook his head and laughed, then his gaze fixated on me with a boyish quality in his eyes.

"If you only knew, Steph, if you only knew."

After that he dragged me to a nice little bar and bought both of us some drinks.

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It was still dark in my room as I opened my eyes. All of my senses were on high alert as I searched for the reason that caused my sudden wakefulness.

The alarm clock read two o'clock in the morning as a very familiar feeling washed over me: The feeling of being watched.

I felt my heartbeat increase and the usual feeling of excitement rose inside of me.

Finally giving up the pretence of being asleep, I switched on my bedside lamp and scowled at the person sitting calmly on a stool next to the window.

"What the heck are you doing here, Ranger?"

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**Flashback**

"_You look bad, girl," Lula said, dropping the files in her hands to the table and scurrying over to her friend. _

_Connie looked from the computer screen and studied her friend's appearance as well. _

"_She's right. What's wrong, Steph?"_

_The woman in question fell with a heavy sigh on the sofa in the office and rubbed a hand over her eyes._

"_I don't know… I'm just tired, I guess."_

"_Well, it certainly doesn't look like a healthy tiredness," Lula piped in. "So I guess it has nothing to do with Hot Stuff banging you all night?"_

_Stephanie groaned._

"_Well, I take that as a no."_

"_What happened?" Connie asked, fetching a big bag from the table and handing each of her friends and herself a donut._

"_I don't really want to talk about it," Stephanie said. "At all." She shot Lula a warning glance._

_Raising her hands in defence, Lula tried to soothe, "Down, girl. If you don't want to talk, then that's fine with me. 'Cause I have something to say."_

_Both Connie and Stephanie looked at her curiously. _

_Lula cleared her throat uncomfortably. "Hell, I'm not good at this, but if that's all too much for you to take, maybe you should just, you know, leave for a while. Stay away from Trenton, go to relatives in another state or something."_

_Connie's donut fell to the ground. "Wow, that was deep."_

_Lula's cheeks turned crimson. "Shut up."_

"_No, I mean it. I never thought you could be so… sensitive." Connie insisted, a grin forming on her face. "Dr Phil would be proud of you!"_

_Lula's eyes widened. "Oh, you- Argh! Take that back!"_

_Stephanie lay on the couch, laughing, as Lula raced Connie through the office._

_Until Ranger appeared in the doorway. _

_All movement ceased the moment his large form filled the room and a the atmosphere abruptly changed from cheerful to tense. _

_With a completely unfazed Ranger in the middle of it all._

_Stephanie sighed. It was just unfair that her whole life was a total mess whilst he seemed to be untouchable. He truly was like Batman; only living for the job._

_Was there never a time when he was only human – Ricardo Carlos Manoso?_

_If so, she found it significant that she never got to see this side of him. At the same time she wondered why this thought hurt so much. _

**End Flashback**


	7. Step Seven

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

* * *

**Chapter 7 **

**Step Seven: Be honest to yourself and others concerning the problem**

It was really strange. Here he was, just sitting there on a chair in my apartment and looking like this was normal, whilst I was close to a breakdown just because of the way he was watching me.

That was so not how I had imagined my reunion with Ranger.

I was trying to stay calm and get my mind to start working instead of freaking out as I waited for him to answer my question.

Why was he here?

His solemn gaze caressed my face for a moment before he stood up and slowly, deliberately walked over to me.

"I'm here to talk."

He came all this way just to… talk?! "Huh?"

"You've had enough time to yourself. Now it's time that you and I clarify some things."

"I don't understand," I murmured, leaning my head against the headboard and watching him stop a few metres away from the bed. "I mean, we did talk, remember?"

The left corner of his mouth lifted in a humourless smile. "We didn't. But now we're going to and I need you to listen to me and to let me explain some things."

That did it.

"How dare you!" I yelled. "How dare you come here in the middle of the night and demand of me to listen to you! You had your chances, and you didn't use them! Instead you treated me like crap! Like a whore, like a child, like a…." I ranted, letting off some pent-up frustration.

And Ranger was just standing there, looking at me with those incredible dark eyes and not denying anything.

"What?" I snapped.

"Is that really what you think I did?"

I was instantly alerted by how softly he uttered these words. I could practically feel the weight that lay on my answer.

Something occurred to me then.

He wasn't Batman anymore. He was just Ranger, the man I wanted.

And that could only mean one thing: He was telling the truth. He really came to have this talk.

I faltered.

"Yes, it is," I hesitantly replied, tucking a curl of hair behind my ear self-consciously.

Why did I feel like taking the words back as soon as I'd voiced them? In short sentences I'd told him truthfully how I felt about his treatment of me. I should be glad that I finally told him when he's willing to listen. I had the right to be angry and hurt.

But why was there this urge then to move over to him and massage his clenched jaw with my fingertips?

"What do you want?" he softly asked and I was taken aback by the sincerely wish his whole facial expression displayed to make things right between us.

"I don't know," I stuttered. I really had no idea how he could make me forgive his behaviour from the past couple of days.

"What do I have to do?" he continued, and I felt a faint ache in my heart. It seemed so surreal that he came in the middle of the night to my resort only to be grovelling at my feet. All right, he wasn't _literally_ grovelling, but _figuratively_ he was very much so.

The seriousness of the whole situation; him voluntarily following me to Spain and demanding to have a godforsaken conversation that didn't involve any sexual comments or safety issues but him and me as persons was… hard to swallow.

Feeling quite overwhelmed, I threw my hands up in the air helplessly.

"I don't know, okay? I mean, you disregarded my wish of being left alone and sent your men after me; you insulted me by not taking my feelings seriously and you hurt me in every freaking way possible! And now you're here, the place I last wanted you to be, and expect me to just forgive you?! I think not!" I yelled, and it felt oddly good to voice everything that was bugging me. „Remember the note, Ranger? Remember what it said?" I shrieked slightly hysterically by now.

"Forget the note," he calmly interrupted. "This is about us."

My eyes widened in shock. "About us?" I stuttered, unable to grasp the full meaning of his words – my mind was a little dazed by his seemingly ordinary usage of the term "us".

"But I still need time… to think."

"I'm tired of waiting and having you think the worst of me. You've had enough time to yourself. Now it's time we talk," Ranger countered, and I was honestly surprised by his verbal aggressiveness.

I just stared at him wide-eyed, not liking how he managed to throw me off-guard with every word he said. Damn him..

Ranger though seemed satisfied.

In return, I narrowed my eyes at him. "Why the hell did you behave like a jerk these last couple of days anyway?"

Before he had the chance to say something, we were rudely interrupted by someone throwing the door to my apartment open.

And this someone was none other than Joe Morelli.

I subtly pinched my arm, just in case, you know…

Unfortunately, it wasn't all a product of my fantasy, and Morelli and Ranger really stood right here in my room, both now wearing identical blank expressions on their faces.

"Hey, Steph," Morelli eventually greeted as he came to stand beside my bed. He bent forward to kiss my forehead lightly and a small smile played on his lips. "I missed you."

I just stared at him for a moment like he was an alien, before I screamed at the top of my lungs, "Lester!"

A somewhat guilty looking Lester appeared in the doorway.

"Uh, yeah?"

"What the hell is going on here?!"

"We're here to talk," Morelli said with an icy glare towards Ranger, "and to hear your decision."

Disregarding the fact for a moment that even Morelli now doubted my feelings for him, I couldn't help but think that I'd never heard the two of them utter the words "We have to talk" this often ever before… Usually the only things they liked to emphasise and to repeat were related to my safety or sexual references.

It occurred to me just how serious they exactly were…

I gulped. "My, uh, decision?" I repeated, twiddling with a lock of my hair nervously.

"That's what you're here for, isn't it?" Morelli said, watching my reaction carefully.

"How come you're here together?" I asked instead, trying to retard the inevitable for a little longer.

"We have a truce," Morelli grudgingly explained. "We came here together."

"And they're going to stay as long as it takes," Lester joyfully added, sending a proud look to his boss who remained indifferent. Morelli, however, just looked determined.

"What?!" I yelled. "No! You can't stay here!"

"I've already booked a room before flying down here. And now I just got my room key," Morelli informed me.

I opened my mouth to yell, but changed my mind and sent Morelli and Ranger a contemplative look.

"You're sharing a room?"

I'm quite sure that Ranger desperately wanted to roll his eyes.

"No," he said. "I'm going to take Mary Lou's room."

Great. There was definitely something wrong with this picture… and why the hell was Lester so happy anyway?

I cast his smiling face my best imitation of the Burg glare and ordered, "Out, Lester. Now."

Lester's shoulders drooped in disappointment. "Damn," he cursed good-naturedly and walked out of my apartment.

After the door closed firmly behind him, I focused on the two men still standing in the middle of my little apartment.

"I can't believe you're both here," I muttered, sighing.

"You better believe it," Morelli countered, crossing his arms over his chest. "And like Lester said, we're not going anywhere until you've made your decision."

Argh. There's nothing worse than stubborn men…

"But why here?" I bristled. "Why now? Why couldn't you give me a little more time to sort things through until I was ready to come back to Trenton?"

"Chances were high you'd still be afraid of making a decision and the situation would never get solved," Ranger answered.

"Plus, solving our problem here is much better than doing it back home only to have all of the Burg meddling with our business out of morbid fascination," Morelli added, disgusted. "Now it's really just the three of us."

Well, Morelli did have a point there.

So I turned to Ranger, very annoyed, "What? You mean I was the one that always ran when the topic of love and commitment came up? Funny that you say that, Master-of-relationships."

Ranger's eyes narrowed imperceptibly. "Stop playing around, Stephanie."

Ohh, no Babe! I should be careful now, I guess…

Or not.

"And Morelli who can't decide whether to love or to strangle me, and you with your 'I love you in my own way' is not playing with me?" I shouted incredulously. "That's odd, because it damn well feels that way!"

Ranger neither flinched nor showed any other sign that could equal a reaction. Freaking frustrating that man. "That's why Morelli and I are here." Morelli looked at Ranger, and Ranger stared right back at him. They did their manly stare contest until Ranger turned back to me. "We need to talk about that."

Good God. How often could you hear the word „talk" and actually avoid doing it? Well, let's see…

„Ranger, it's now two-thirty in the morning, I'm freaking tired, and being visited by both Batman and Supercop within one night is a little much, don't you think?"

I was facing two stoic faces in return. Great, just great. Now the two men in my life suddenly decided to gang up on me. Why must this world be so cruel?

"It's safe to say that you're both attracted to Morelli and me," Ranger said, easily ignoring my previous words. His eyes were firmly locked with mine as they searched for affirmation.

Mutely, I nodded.

"But you did tell me you love me. Shouldn't that solve the problem?" Morelli somewhat smugly added.

Ranger's gaze turned to me sharply and his whole body tensed visibly.

I gulped nervously and averted my eyes to the ground, not wanting to see the reaction of either man as I quietly confessed, "I kinda love Ranger, too."

There was a moment of a stunned silence, before Ranger softly inquired, "Kinda?"

Swallowing again, I raised my eyes to his and for a minute I was overwhelmed by the storm of unrecognisable emotions that were raging in them.

"I'm in love with you," I whispered.

Ranger's hands clenched into fists and it seemed like he had to restrain himself with all his might from rushing over to me and kissing me senseless. His deep brown eyes were molten chocolate, holding a clear promise of sensual and passionate love-making as soon as Morelli was permanently out of the picture.

Wait. Love-making? Where did that come from? Ranger loved me like a teenage boy loves his own car – its only purpose is to entertain, look good and provide fun. He may adore and love it for a while, but only until he finds a better car.

Ranger didn't love me like a grown-up man loves the woman whom he couldn't live without. I couldn't be the one he wanted to keep and cherish forever…

I mean, he's Batman and I'm a stubborn and quite disastrous human being for whom donughts are on the top of her food pyramid.

"Well," Morelli muttered. "That's new." There was fear in his eyes. And the dejected look he sent me showed that he had suspected my feelings for Ranger for quite some time.

And all of a sudden I felt incredibly terrible. It was the moment I realised that Ranger was right: I was toying with the both of them. It might not have been intentionally, but I had given both men the impression of being something more to me than just a guy friend or casual lover. I cheated on Morelli, who wanted to marry me, by fuelling the sexual tension between Ranger and me only to chicken out in the end.

Guilt now flooded me in strong and repetitive waves.

"I've made my decision," I blurted out, causing both men to scrutinise me curiously. "It's over, I'm ending whatever we have. With both of you. I can't be with either one of you."

I gave them a minute to fully comprehend what I just said before calling out Lester's name, who I knew had been eavesdropping on the other side of the door.

There was a clicking sound before the door swung open and a curious looking Lester entered.

"Please bring them to their own rooms. Our business here is finished."

"Like hell it is!" Morelli yelled, looking hurt and confused and more furious than ever. "First we establish that you love the both us and now you're breaking it off with us? Why are you doing this?"

"Lester?" I weakly pleaded and he quickly threw a cursing Morelli out of my apartment.

Ranger straightened his posture slowly, his dark eyes never leaving mine.

„Don't fool yourself by thinking you could get rid of me that easily, Babe," he said. "Tonight you've made your point clear, next time I'll make mine."

Then he left.

Well, it seemed like Ranger had come to the conclusion that now was the time to make his move – no matter if I wanted it or not.

000000000000000000

**Flashback**

„_I think you need to corner Batman and talk to him about where you two stand," Connie said, as she took a sip of her drink._

"_Nah," Lula disagreed. "Talking is boring. There are other ways to make Hotstuff melt in your hands." She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively._

"_I'm not really fond of either suggestions," Stephanie muttered and asked the bartender for another beer. _

"_Why not?" Lula asked._

"_I'm not so big on talking about feelings myself, you know. With Morelli it was always kind of easy – he told me he loved me and I chickened out. Despite that he always knew how I felt about him. But with Ranger…"_

_Connie narrowed her eyes at her. "Are you… _afraid_ of talking to Ranger about that?"_

_Stephanie's eyes widened. "No! Of course not!"_

_Lula raised an eyebrow at her._

_Rolling her eyes, Stephanie admitted, "Okay, maybe I am. A little bit."_

"_That's a big bit if you ask me," Lula replied._

"_Well, what do you expect? I've known Ranger for how many years and I still only know bits and pieces of him. He's the one that's not letting me come close, so why should I be the stupid one running after him and begging him not to shut me out?"_

_Lula and Connie exchanged a significant look._

"_You're so far gone," Connie said with a small smile on her face._

"_Thank God," Lula said. "I always thought Batman was hotter than Supercop. Plus, if you're with Batman I got a reason to see Tank again."_

_This time both Connie and Stephanie rolled their eyes._

"_I just don't know how he feels…" Stephanie whispered. "He's important to me, you know, and I'd really like to know how he sees our relationship – if it even is one," she continued a little louder. "But I guess I'd only freak out if the day ever comes that Ranger opens up to me."_

_Connie and Lula watched her unhappy friend down the beer. They knew there was something special between Ranger and Stephanie. But they also knew it depended on Ranger's decision to finally make his move on Stephanie how that "something" between them would develop. They just hoped he'd make a move soon._

**End Flashback**


	8. Step Eight

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

* * *

**Chapter 8 **

**Step Eight: Do not be afraid to act upon your true feelings**

It was the next morning and I was still trying to avoid having that talk with Ranger and Morelli. All right, I was being a chicken again. So what? I felt like a rabbit being pestered by a hungry snake – the only difference was that now there were _two_ snakes.

I just felt like I wasn't ready to make a decision.

One minute I was beginning to crave the life my best friend led, and the next minute the two men in my life demanded of me to choose between them.

But I couldn't. Maybe something inside of me was afraid to actually take that step and make a definite choice. I didn't know; and I wasn't exactly eager to find out.

Unfortunately, Ranger and Morelli hadn't looked like they were going to take it any slower after our conversation from the night before.

Trying to shake off these thoughts, I took a sip of my coffee. It was around ten in the morning and only few tourists occupied the tables in the bistro. Towels were thrown over the chairs beside them and it looked like they just wanted to eat and drink a little before settling down at the beach for the rest of the day.

Raúl was cheerfully chatting with a group of teenagers – obviously recommending some discos in the immediate vicinity to them.

I enjoyed sitting all by myself at a table outside the bistro and reading the newspaper as a shadow fell over me.

Automatically glancing up, I was unhappily surprised to see Morelli towering over me. He certainly didn't give me a lot of time to prepare myself for this encounter. Men, always so impatient…

"Morning, Steph," Morelli said. His gaze wandered away from my horrendous outward appearance to the stool opposite me. "May I sit down?"

Hesitating, I cast a glance at Raúl who had stopped paying attention to the teenagers he was serving and was instead focusing on Morelli and me with a concerned frown on his face. I forced a reassuring smile out of me for his sake and emptied my cup of coffee quickly.

"No," I replied, standing up and grabbing my purse. "Let's go somewhere more private."

I placed some money on the table and waved a brief goodbye to Raúl. Morelli quietly followed me as I headed straight to the beach. Taking off my shoes, I walked through the sand along the ocean to some beach chairs that were unoccupied and apart from the increasing stream of people.

We sat next to each other in one of those large beach chairs, both facing the horizon in an awkward silence.

Eventually, I could feel Morelli take a deep breath as his arm brushed mine. What disturbed me was that I felt no excited shudder or nervous anticipation.

I felt next to nothing except for maybe dread due to the oncoming conversation.

"So, you love us both." It wasn't a question. "What does this mean? What happened to _us_ – you and me?" he quietly asked, unknowingly voicing the questions that were running through my head just a few seconds before. "What happened to all of our plans? We want to get married, Steph. Do you really want to throw that away? Just like that?"

"You want to get married," I muttered, biting my lower lip as his head turned to me.

"What?" he hissed.

"I don't know if I want to marry right now," I hastily explained. "You just kind of pushed me into this whole wedding thing when you told your mother and grandmother we'd get married. But you never asked me."

He ran a hand through his thick dark hair and laughed incredulously. "So, that's it? After all these years you couldn't even tell me that you want to end our relationship?"

"No!" I almost shouted. "No, I didn't mean that I want to end it… I just don't know if I'm ready for marriage. I never got the chance to think about it."

He chuckled humorously. "Steph, I love you. Of course I've thought about marriage and stuff. Aren't you supposed to do that when you're in love? It makes me think that you obviously don't want to marry me – and you're a woman. Don't all women want to get married and settle down?" I shifted uneasily. His speech was getting more and more passionate. "I'm not Orr if that's what you're afraid of. But I'm no Ranger either." He sighed and continued in a much softer and oddly vulnerable voice, "You know, I've accepted the fact that there'll always be something between you two. Some chemistry or some kind of bond, but I need you, Steph. I want you to choose me."

He took my hand and stroked the palm with his thumb.

I looked into his eyes and for the first time I realised that there was something missing. I couldn't pinpoint what it was, but something wasn't there in those familiar eyes; something that I wanted, that I needed to see there. Something I saw every time I looked into Ranger's eyes…

True, I mean Morelli was the first man I ever loved, but still there had been something missing all those years. Something that Ranger had been given me unconditionally and unlimitedly…

When suddenly it hit me.

My heart beat erratically in my chest and my breathing became laboured. Emotions and thoughts and past occurrences flooded my mind all at once, and suddenly the solution to my unsteady relationship with Morelli seemed so clear as if I'd known all along and just ignored all the signs.

I smiled sadly as his fingers brushed a tear from my cheek.

"You are my first love," I whispered, my voice shook weakly as I spoke. "All those years ago when I was still a teenager… I've never been able to completely let you go. It's just so hard to let go."

Understanding dawned in his eyes as he continued to stroke my cheek affectionately. "You don't have to let me go. I can stay right here by your side."

I shook my head. "I was afraid, Joe. Afraid to let you go. But I have to. I'm not in love with you anymore."

He froze. "But you said-"

"I know," I interrupted. "I know what I said a few weeks ago. I still love you, that's true, and I could never let you leave my life completely, but I'm not in love with you. I have to let you go. I have to stop being scared," I said, desperate for him to understand.

"I don't understand. Everything was fine before you came here! You wanted to marry me, you said you loved me. Now you say I pressured you into the concept of marrying me, you take back your words of love to me, and I don't even understand why! Why are you thinking like this all of a sudden? Is it because of Ranger?" He suddenly yelled and I could practically feel all the hurt and pain radiate off of him.

I wanted to comfort him, but I knew he would probably misunderstand my intentions and try to make me change my decision that felt so right to me. I hurt for him and a part of me was saddened at the thought of breaking up with him, but the other part, the much greater one, knew that what I was doing was right.

I loved Morelli, and I loved Ranger. But in love I was only with Ranger. No matter what I had thought these past weeks and maybe even months, I now knew that Morelli could never be the one for me. He couldn't understand and support me like Ranger did. Ranger may behave like a moron sometimes, but he knew me. He knew what I wanted and needed, and he knew how to encourage me. In a way, I sometimes even suspected that he knew my needs better than I did.

Morelli tried to be there for me in his own way by disapproving of my friend and job choices. But he would never be able to completely understand me like Ranger did. My feelings for Ranger surpassed those for Morelli, and that was what I had been afraid of; it had scared me to feel so much for another person without knowing how that person felt about me.

Morelli was safe, I knew the rules of the game we played – but Ranger was different. He was a mystery, and my body and heart were at stake with him. It frightened me that he held that much power over me while I apparently only served for his amusement.

"It's not Ranger's fault I'm breaking up with you," I softly disagreed. "I'm not the one for you, Joe. I can see that now. You and I, we wouldn't be happy. Look at us! We have a on-again, off-again relationship that seriously can't be healthy! It can't go on like this forever."

I felt a heavy weight being lifted off of me. I knew I was doing the right thing – I had known all along. This alone time had subconsciously made me see my true feelings. I had only been afraid to acknowledge them.

Ranger was the one for me.

Whenever Morelli criticised my job or my work methods I got annoyed that he couldn't accept the way I am; Ranger never criticised me. And I wanted it to stay that way – I wanted to be enough for him just the way I was.

Morelli studied me carefully. "And with Ranger it would be different?" he softly asked, all fight seemed to have left him as his whole body expressed defeat.

Another tear suddenly rolled down my cheek. "I hope so."

He then smiled at me, a sad smile that was full of sweet and bitter memories, and regrets. "I'll never stop loving you," he vowed and pressed a kiss to my forehead.

More tears slid down my face as the finality of it all hit me. In a moment of intimacy that only two people could share that have known each other for many years, we looked deeply into each others eyes to silently say goodbye to the concept of being lovers.

Abruptly, he broke our connection and stood up. "I'm going to take the next flight back to Trenton," he said and sighed. "Maybe it'll be best if we don't see each other for a while."

I wiped the tears away from my face and stood up as well. His wish for distance between us upset me, but I forced myself to accept it and give him the time he needed because I feared to lose his friendship. He'd been a very close person to me for far too long that I could risk losing him.

"Okay," I quietly agreed.

He must have sensed my unspoken fear, because he turned one last time to me with a small but heartfelt smile on his face, and said, "After all, Bob is going to miss you, and we wouldn't want to upset Bob, now do we?"

I laughed a raspy laugh that felt free and depressed at the same time.

Sadness as well as happiness surged through me as I watched him walk back to the boardwalk, his muscled shoulders stiff and tense and his whole stance proud. I was sad to give up my first love for good, but on the other hand I felt also adventurous and lively for the new things that lay before me. For a new love.

This night, as Raúl and Lester visited me in my hotel room with three bags of bagels and a few bottles of sangria, I finally mourned the loss of my first love.

However, the two men that had the honour to witness this, made sure that the mood didn't stay sad for too long. They always found a way to end my momentary lethargy and to make me see the positive side of my break-up.

"Well, Bomber, I really have to say that I'm proud of you," Lester said later that night, grinning like mad, and leisurely threw an arm around my shoulders. "You finally came to your senses and dumped the moron. And all that for Ranger – that's _so_ romantic."

I rolled my eyes at his theatrical behaviour. "Idiot! I didn't break up with Joe for Ranger." He looked at me with a raised eyebrow and I was definitely tempted to whack him with one of the bottles. "Ranger still needs to prove that he's worth my trust," I elaborated. _And that he really loves me and wants a honest to God relationship with me, _I mutely added. "If he doesn't, then there's nothing going to happen between us."

Lester choked on a sip of sangria. "Well, then it's good he's not going to take no for an answer," he muttered.

"Sounds a little tyrannical," Raúl piped in in an unusually grave voice. "You're not going to let him walk all over you, are you?" he said to me a little worried.

I snorted. "Hell no!" I exclaimed and touched my bottle to Raúl's. Lester rolled his eyes at our antics, but smiled good-naturedly.

It was by far the strangest wallowing I had ever taken part in, but it was exactly what I needed.

Lolling on my bed, drinking, talking, joking and laughing – and even shedding a few tears, I felt my heart lightening as the night wore on. Though I would have liked it if Mary Lou had still been there to have some female talk with, I felt somehow connected to the two men that tried their best to replace my best friend.

A detail suddenly struck me that I hadn't paid too much attention to before and I sobered slightly as I looked at Lester. "Why didn't you tell me that they wanted to come? Why did you keep this from me?"

His goofy grin faded as he slowly turned to look at me. "Would it have changed anything?" he simply asked in return.

"Yes! In fact, it would have! It wouldn't have been this great of a shock!" I retorted and pointed an accusing finger at him. "Besides, I thought that we'd become sort of friends. Don't friends tell each other everything?"

He laughed in amusement. "I'm not a woman, Bomber, I don't think this rule applies to me."

I scowled at him. "Sexist pig."

He winked at me and touched his bottle to Raul's.

My eyes narrowed even more at the both of them.

Sighing, Lester squeezed my shoulder. "Don't be mad. I'm just kidding." I rolled my eyes at him, but smiled a little. "Ranger asked me not to tell you. He obviously feared you'd border the next flight to the Congo or something. He's new to showing his feelings to the woman he's got feelings for, you know? Just give him a chance. Please."

I stared at him in disbelief. "Until now I haven't seen much of this 'showing his feelings to the woman he's got feelings for'. He never once talked about himself or his feelings! He has been quite aggressive and uttered a few demands, specifically – since he's arrived – about me making a decision. I didn't even know that it was so important to him that I come clear with my own feelings! He's behaving like a jerk most of the time, even more so the moment I came here for a vacation. He's probably going to leave as well, now that his rival has been disposed of, and he can finally get me into bed whenever he wants to. There won't be any confession on his part about his so-called _feelings_ to me!"

Raúl and Lester looked at me warily.

"What?" I snapped, fully annoyed now.

"Here," Lester said, handing me a full bottle of sangria. "Drink this. You're far too sober for your own good."

Rolling my eyes in exasperation, I took the bottle and drank.

000000000000000000

**Flashback**

_"How do you realise you're in love with somebody?" she asked and leaned her head back against the headrest of her seat._

_It was too dark to see the look on his face as he turned his head to her briefly, but in the lights of an approaching car she could see him quirk an eyebrow._

_"I mean," she tried to explain, "how do you know? How do you know this is the one person in the world you love? The one you want to spend your life with, get married to and have many, many babies with?"_

_"You only drank two margaritas. You can't be that drunk," he finally said._

_She rolled her eyes. "Ranger, I'm serious here!"_

_It took him a while to speak again, but when he did his voice had lost its humorous quality and instead sounded almost wistful. Though it was hard to decipher since he spoke so quietly._

_"It's quite… intense, Babe, and sometimes you only realise that you love someone when it's too late."_

_She furrowed her brows in thought, not realising that he didn't answer her question. "Well, that sucks."_

_She missed the hint of a smile on his face._

_"But shouldn't you fight for the person or something?" she asked._

_"Why?"_

_"Well, when you love someone you want to be with them, so it's only natural that you fight to get them, right?"_

_He was silent for a little while longer now._

_"It's not always that easy, Babe. Sometimes the person you want to be with is attached to somebody else," he said. "It would be selfish to destroy that person's happiness with another only because you want them as well."_

_She shrugged her shoulders. "That's a really sucky situation," was the only thing she could come up with before she yawned. "But what do you do then?"_

_He smiled into the darkness, a bitter smile. "Wishing it was you who was with them."_

_Her eyes closed as she curled up on the plush of the passenger seat and soon sleep overcame her after she mumbled, "I want to be with you."_

_His eyes left the road for a moment and looked warmly down upon the sleeping figure next to him._

_An hour later he stopped the car in front of a house. His eyes were indifferent yet again as he prepared to gently shake her awake._

_Out of their own accord, his fingers brushed across her forehead, carefully stroking her warm skin. He pressed a chaste but tender kiss to her temple and whispered almost beseechingly, "If you really want to be with me, then you have to let go of him by yourself. I will not manipulate you into leaving him. Let go of him and come to me."_

_As he stepped out of the car his gaze lingered on her for a moment before his eyes hardened at the sight of Joseph Morelli's house._

**End Flashback**


	9. Step Nine

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

* * *

**Chapter 9**

**Step Nine: There will be some point where you have to stop running away**

The next morning I found myself back at the bistro as usual. This time, however, I hadn't brought a newspaper or something of that sort to entertain me – no, because my disarrayed thoughts and feelings certainly proofed to be keeping me preoccupied enough.

I felt lonely – after all, my best friend did abandon me just before my probably worst emotional break-up ever –, confused, emotionally drained, and totally not ready to face Ranger.

Sadly, I knew it was futile to try and avoid him. He was here and according to Lester he wasn't planning on leaving before he had that much spoken of talk with me.

Great.

Fortunately, Raúl knew how to restore my good mood. Flirting insanely with me and coming up with the most clichéd lines ever, he helped me quench the rising panic inside of me when thoughts of the Burg and my mother, or the now inevitable talk with Ranger flashed through my mind.

By the time Martouf and Lester entered the bistro and took a seat at my table, I was even able to smile heartily at Raúl's sweet stupidity.

"What's up, Bomber?" Lester greeted.

"Not much," I replied, shrugging.

"Not busy with making poor, innocent guys go crazy over you?"

The grin was practically plastered to my face as I shifted in my seat. "No, Martouf, there are no poor, innocent guys that I-"

"Don't be modest," Raúl interrupted and, grabbing a stool from a nearby table, sat down beside me. "You know you're irresistible."

I laughed. "Gotta learn some new lines, my friend – these ain't working anymore."

He leaned back, his hands entwined behind his head. "We'll see," he winked at me.

Lester shook his head at him. "If you ever come to Trenton for a visit – don't say you know me. Your lame lines will destroy my reputation with the ladies."

"Lester the ladies' man," I mocked.

"Don't underestimate me," Lester warned and adjusted the collar of his shirt. "I'm quite popular with the ladies."

I only rolled my eyes at so much male arrogance.

Lester grinned smugly at me. Martouf patted my hand in sympathy. "There's no need to curse us men," he said. "After all, what would you do without us?"

"Lead a sad and unspectacular and-" Raúl began to enumerate.

"- much more peaceful life?" I sarcastically finished.

They only laughed in response. Men.

"So, you're going to swear off men?" Lester almost casually said.

I narrowed my eyes at him. „Depends on what a certain man has to say."

"Mmh," Lester said, studying me thoughtfully. „You're really mad at him, huh?"

That didn't even deserve an answer. I mean, it was obvious that I had a right to be angry with Ranger, wasn't it?

"I just hope he won't blow it," Martouf muttered darkly.

I raised an eyebrow at him. "You're not exactly oozing with confidence in Ranger in this department. What gives?"

Lester scowled at Martouf who ran a hand over his head. "Ranger's one of the best bounty hunters in the country but he's not exactly an expert when it comes to matters of the heart."

For a moment I was distracted by his choice of words. _Matters of the heart_… that sounded so – romantic. Not something I would associate with Ranger…

"I thought he's more like a tyrant?" Raúl interjected, a frown on his face.

Lester sent him a glare. The new bond the two had formed the night before over some bottles of sangria seemed not strong enough to gang up on Ranger.

"He's not a tyrant," Lester protested.

"Well," Raúl said, unimpressed. "It does pretty much sound like that to me."

Lester scoffed. "You don't even know him, so you don't have the right to judge him."

Raúl only shrugged.

"I hope your celebration last night was not too wild," Martouf asked with a sideways glance at Raúl.

"I did not try to fill her up. So don't look at me like that!"

"No," Lester confirmed with a grin. "She did that very well on her own."

I glared at him.

"You were drunk?" Martouf inquired, not sounding surprised at all.

"Yes," I uneasily said.

"Well, that was the point of last night's celebration, wasn't it?" Martouf tried to joke in order to soothe me. "By the way, I'm sorry I had to miss it but there was an important operation."

I waved his apology aside. "You did actual work yesterday?"

Martouf grinned cheekily.

"We drank some bottles of sangria," Lester answered his previous question. "To celebrate Stephanie's freedom. Only that Bomber here fell asleep halfway down the second bottle." There was a hint of humour in his voice.

"I've never been good at holding my liquor," I defended myself.

"You've got a headache?" Martouf asked, concerned.

I scratched one side of my head, abashed. "A little. I'll take an aspirin later."

Martouf nodded. "Good. Well, I should go back to work," he announced, lazily stretching his arms over his head. I looked at him.

"Go back to where? To that super important operation of yours or to selling coconuts?"

He smirked. "What do you think?"

"I'll come with you," Raúl said and emptied his glass of orange juice. "I'm glad I don't have to work today, but selling coconuts sounds like fun." With a quick wink in my direction and a few words of farewell to Lester, the two left.

I leaned back in my seat and sighed. A gentle breeze blew strands of hair in my face and cooled my throbbing temples.

Lester watched me and took a sip of his water. "You okay?"

Surprised, I looked up at him. "Yeah, sure."

He didn't look convinced. "I mean, because of Morelli and the break-up," he elaborated. "You looked pretty down last night."

"Just because I can't hold my liquor doesn't mean that I don't drink from time to time," I said defiantly.

"That's not what I meant."

I rolled my eyes, irritated. "I'm fine, okay? I'm fine."

He eyed me for a single, silent moment. „You don't look fine."

"Lester!"

He held up his hands. „Okay, okay, you're fine. I get it."

I sent him a burning glare. "Why are you so annoying anyway?"

He only shook his head at me. "I've got a note for you from Ranger." He rummaged through his jacket pockets and pulled out a small neat card and handed it to me.

Hesitantly, I took it. "You're degraded to a messenger now, huh?" I scoffed.

"Don't sound so bitter," Lester gently chided. "He's not as bad as you're making him out to be. He didn't come himself this morning because he wants to give you time."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "You _told_ him about the break-up?"

He blinked at me. "Of course. Why wouldn't I?"

"It's none of his business whether or not I broke up with Joe," I heatedly retorted.

"Oh but I think it is," Lester quietly said. "Stop being so stubborn. You want to know what you're to him? Fine, then get off of your ass and confront him."

I sent him a glare. "Is that the oh-so-understanding Lester that Mary Lou was worshipping?" I sarcastically asked.

"No," he smirked. "That was a frustrated Lester that thinks that the Bombshell and Batman are a match made in heaven."

I wrinkled my nose. "You're corny."

He shrugged carelessly. "If that's what it takes to get through your thick skull…"

I glowered. "Where's the sympathy? Neither tonight nor now you've shown any sympathy for me. Did I do something to you?"

"Stop drowning in self-pity," he said and cocked his head to the side. "You know, I get the distinct feeling you're scared of talking to Ranger alone."

How the hell did he know that?

"Shut up," I growled and finally took a look at the card.

"_Come find me when you're ready."_

My heart fluttered involuntarily. Since I'd left Trenton behind for a vacation, nothing had gone the way I had wanted. Nothing had been solved; I didn't feel relaxed the slightest and would come home to my mother who would be furious with me for leaving without any warning and for breaking up with Joe.

It had all been for nothing. And now I would have a talk with Ranger concerning our non-existent relationship – where he would tell me that I was nothing more than good entertainment for him – after I had just realised that he was the man of my life.

Of course I was scared of talking to him.

000000000000000000

I took one last deep breath and knocked, hesitantly. I almost thought it had been too soft to hear as the door was suddenly opened.

Ranger stood in the doorway, his facial expression blank.

I waved a little. "Hey, Ranger."

His eyes wandered over my face. "You're ready for this?"

"Yes," I sighed. "Let's get this over and done with."

His prior concerned face closed off. "Come in," he said and moved to the side.

We settled on two separate couches with a table standing between us.

I felt really uncomfortable.

"You're all right?" he asked.

I rolled my eyes. "If you're talking about the break-up with Joe, then yes, I'm all right."

He looked me in the eyes and said nothing.

"You wanted to talk, now talk," I changed the subject.

He inclined his head slightly and the intensity in his eyes increased. "Why did you leave?" he simply asked, his dark chocolate eyes boring into me.

"What do you mean?"

"Why did you suddenly leave Trenton and come here the way you did?"

"I guess it was all just too much," I mumbled evasively.

"What was too much?" he pressed.

"Joe, you, my mother, the Burg…" I listed. "Just about everything."

He seemed to digest my words as his eyes left my fidgeting form. I barely refrained from exhaling loudly that his scrutinising gaze was off of me for a moment.

"Why I?" he curiously asked. "What did I do that caused you to cross the ocean in order to get away from me?"

I flushed. Not a question I wanted to answer…

"What's this all about?" I asked defensively. "It doesn't matter anymore why I left, now does it? You wanted that talk and I want you to say what you have to say, so please do just that."

"Why I?" he only repeated.

I threw up my hands in frustration. "What's this? You're just going to question my motives? I don't have to answer to _you_! You never explained anything to me! That's why this whole mess started in the first place! And let me tell you, I'm sick and tired of this!"

At the end of my tirade I was yelling and it was pretty hard for me to stop doing that.

"You want me to talk? Fine, I'll talk. You're a jerk, Ranger. You tell me you love me – but what kind of love is that? We're not emotionally close because you won't let us and a love that only resolves around sex is no love. I'm no hormone driven teenager, Ranger, that mistakes lust for love. Give me some credit," I bitterly said.

"And now you're here," I said. "I don't really understand why. What do you want? However, what really bothers me is your possessiveness and the pressure you're putting on me. You have no right to come here and demand anything at all."

"You came here to make a decision," he quietly said. "A decision that includes me as well."

"You disregarded my wish to be left alone; the two times we talked on the phone with each other you behaved like a moron and now you're here and honestly claiming the right to be here? I think not. You've had your chances, Ranger," I firmly said.

I smiled sadly as all anger seemed to leave me.

„I know nothing about you, okay? Nothing! I didn't even know I had a choice between you and Morelli until the both of you stormed into my apartment that night. Why? Why, Ranger, did I have a choice? What kind of choice do I exactly have? The choice between a serious relationship with Joe and a casual sex life with you?"

I bit my lip and turned my head away from him. It was instinctive; as if I knew that there were too many emotions he would be able to read if he looked into my eyes.

"You want to know why I broke up with Joe? Because even though I need him in my life, I know that I could go on living without him – but I couldn't live without you. And I'm starting to hate that fact. I doubt that you feel the same way about me. You let me go too many times. I guess that should have been enough signs to realise how you really feel about me."

I avoided his gaze and stood up. "I love you, Ranger, but I don't think I can be with you. I need someone who will love me back just as much and who won't play the games we did. I need someone who will fight for me."

I reached the door and turned back to him one last time. "And I think that I was wrong – you're not that person."

A second later the door closed behind me with a gentle thud. Tears freely ran down my cheeks as I mechanically opened the door to my own apartment. He hadn't come after me; hadn't tried to stop me or change my mind. He had let me go again.

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It was later that night. I lay curled up on my bed with my arms protectively slung around my upper body and a generous bag of donuts at my side. It was getting dark outside and the hotel seemed to get alive as people left their apartments for their nightly activities. But I didn't feel like going out.

I half-heartedly zapped through the channels of the TV, trying to occupy my mind with something else than the hurtful encounter with Ranger a few hours prior.

It just wouldn't work.

A scraping sound at my door hauled me out of my depression. Confused, I got out of bed and walked over to my apartment door and found a small neat card.

My heartbeat rushed on painfully as I slowly lowered myself to the ground. Debating for a moment whether or not to simply burn the note, I eventually picked it up and read the few words that were written on it.

Frowning, I read them a second time.

It took me an hour to gather my wits and arrive at the beach at the specified meeting point. Even from a distance I saw the flames licking the dark sky.

Somebody had created an extremely big heart-shaped circle of burning candles in the sand. The candles were red and broad and smelled nicely. Rose petals of a rich red were lain into the middle of the heart and I knew that I had never seen something as romantic as that. I looked up into the sky but there was no moon to support the romantic mood, only countless of stars twinkling merrily down on me.

I knew he stood behind me before he began to speak.

"You said that it was over between us," he softly said. "But that's not true. I refuse to let it end like that," he harshly said.

His words stole my breath. I didn't dare to turn around and see if he was really there, but he had other plans. One of his hands affectionately caressed my cheek as he walked around me so we were face to face.

"Let me show you that I can be that man that you need. Let me fight for you."

As I nodded I knew that whatever he was going to say next, there would be no more chance for me to run away.

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**Fla****shback**

"_I can't take it anymore," Stephanie sighed tiredly. _

"_What do you mean?" Mary Lou absently asked and motioned to a waiter to bring some drinks._

"_This…_ thing _with Joe, Ranger and me," Stephanie explained. "I love Joe, I know I do, but there's still this underlying attraction to Ranger. I mean it can't be true love if I'm fantasising about another man, right?"_

"_So, you love Joe, huh?" Mary Lou inquired, much more attentive now._

"_He's important to me," Stephanie affirmed. "I need him in my life."_

"_What about Ranger?" Mary Lou interestedly said. "Do you need him in your life as well?"_

"_Yes," Stephanie answered. "And that's the whole problem!"_

"_I don't know where the problem should be with two of the hottest men in Jersey chasing after me," Mary Lou somewhat sardonically muttered._

"_The problem is that I can't decide! Obviously I can't be with both. I don't even know if I could _have _Ranger, but that's beside the point. I need to decide whom I really want and stop this situation from getting out of hand," Stephanie thoughtfully mumbled. "It was bad enough that the two of them wanted to stay with me at my apartment."_

_Mary Lou laughed. "I still think it's a pity that you didn't stay."_

_Stephanie shot her a glare._

"_I know what I would have done with both of them living with me…" Mary Lou teased._

_Stephanie rolled her eyes. "I just need some time to think, but I can't do that when they're constantly around me."_

"_What are you talking about?" Mary Lou quickly asked, leaning forward with her elbows propped up on the table._

"_I don't know," Stephanie said. "I guess I just need some time away from them both."_

_Mary Lou smiled cheekily at her friend. "Hon, what do you think of Spain?"_

**End Flashback **


	10. Step Ten

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

* * *

**Chapter 10 **

**Step Ten: To have faith in new developments**

Self-consciously, I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and answered Ranger's grave stare with a slightly defiant one of my own. Standing on the beach, burning candles carefully placed in the shape of a big heart behind my back, the stars merrily illuminating the ocean, and Ranger of all people being there with me and declaring his want to fight for me – that surely had to be an otherworldly experience in my opinion. Not that I wasn't used to otherworldly experiences with Ranger, but those were mostly sexual and not emotional encounters.

"Still mad at me?" he curiously asked.

Scrunching up my nose, I nodded. "Yeah, I guess so."

Ranger didn't wait for me to say more on the subject.

"You left early today. You didn't give me time to rectify your stupid notions."

Bristling, with hands on hips, I felt the familiar feeling of frustration rise inside of me again at seeing that he still behaved like a jerk. What hat got into him recently anyway? Was his behaviour towards me a direct consequence of my sudden flight?

"First of all, you've had plenty of time to say whatever it is you have to say – because honestly you have yet to say something only remotely similar to an explanation of what your behaviour is all about. And my notions are nothing but logical considering _your_ stupid way of never saying what you really want to say!"

Oh great, a destroyed romantic setting and five minutes with this man and I was upset again.

His eyes never left mine, as if calculating how best to react to my forceful outburst.

Well, it was about time that he took my words seriously.

"You know I'm not a man of words," he calmly pointed out and it felt distinctively like a concealed apology.

"Don't you dare turn this around on me," I threatened. "I'm not one of the Merry Men with ESP. I can't read your mind and heart as easily as you can read mine." I sighed and closed my eyes for a second. "Look, Ranger, if this is all so hard for you, maybe it's just not meant to be. Just… just go back to Trenton and carry on with being The Man of Mystery, and give me some alone time before coming back. Then you and I will continue working together as though nothing ever happened."

I held my breath and pressed my eyelids tightly together. I couldn't bear to see the relief on his face at my proposition.

"Continue as if nothing ever happened?" he repeated softly as if testing the words out loud and mulling them. "Impossible."

My eyes shot open instantly. "W-what?"

He took a confident step in my direction. "I didn't follow you here to make you feel less worthy. When you left me I was numb and I … You're right. I didn't handle this situation like I should have. At first I did as you wished and stayed away, but then as everything seemed to only worsen, I changed my mind." He stared intensely at me. "And you're wrong when you think that I could just forget everything after we've come this far."

I snorted derisively. "_We_ didn't go anywhere. I finally came clean with my feelings for you while you are obviously unable to do so."

He actually began to pace. I blinked rapidly a few times, but he was still striding two steps to my left and two steps back.

Ranger seemed to be disgruntled. What a startling realisation.

"You were with Morelli. You weren't even sure who you really wanted. You had to choose first," he said.

I remained sceptical. "Before what?"

Ranger come to an abrupt halt. "You needed to be ready before I could make my move."

It hit me like lightening.

Ranger was afraid.

"I needed it to be your choice," he added.

He might be the Man of Mystery to me and everyone else, but he was only a man with feelings as well, even though he was apparently better at hiding them. And all these times, all those odd comments and elusive questions had been him subtly prodding me if I've come to a decision. He hadn't wanted to push me or influence me into deciding, and he definitely hadn't wanted to hurt me; he'd been afraid I'd still be uncertain.

It had to be my decision. In my own time.

All these times, had it really only been his twisted way of showing me he was interested?

Well, it would at least explain his reserve in this matter.

"But the two phone calls… You were rude, you hurt me. And today… You didn't even try to amend things. How am I then supposed to know that you're really into this, into us, if you can't even fight for me? Besides, you did say that your life doesn't allow you the privilege of having relationships at this point."

"I'm fighting for you now," he said, looking earnest. "And I'm sorry for some things I said. It's new for me too, Babe, opening up to another person like that."

I stomped my feet in anger. "You're sorry? That's all you have to say? Tell you what: That's not good enough. I've ended my relationship with Joe. I told you that I love you and that you're the love of my life and you-"

I was only mid-sentence when he grabbed me and crashed his lips onto mine. Utterly taken by surprise, I stared wide-eyed as he loosened his grip on me a tad bit.

"I thought Morelli was the man of your life?" he half-questioned, his voice raw with emotion.

"Who?" was the only thing I could come up with being in the dazed state of mind I was in. In my defence, it had been a while since I had been kissed like that and had stayed guilt-free. But now that I was sure of my own feelings, I had nothing else to worry about than how to get him to give me another one of those addicting kisses of his.

Ranger, unfortunately, didn't seem inclined to heed my inward wishes. Damn. Instead, he smiled and touched my jaw with his fingertips. "Just making sure that he won't overtake my role in our relationship." There was a fierce determination in his unusual tender gaze.

My mind slowly started working again. "Your role? Our relationship? What the hell are you talking about? There is no 'us'."

His arms shot forward and enveloped me in a tight hug.

"Yes, there's an us. And if I had it my way, there'd be soon a lawfully wedded us too."

I swear my heart stopped beating for a moment.

"Marriage?" I squeaked. "What about you can't afford a relationship, least of all the mother of commitment, a marriage?"

His visible happiness was almost contagious, but only almost since I was still cautious.

"I fell in love with you."

My hands shook as I powerlessly pushed against his chest.

"You can't just… say stuff like that…" I weakly accused.

"Why not?" he challenged, but gave in to my weak attempts and kept his distance.

I was totally overstrained with the sudden change in Ranger's character.

"Because I'm only entertainment for you, both sexually and socially… and once you have me, you'll push me away again…"

I rubbed my arms absentmindedly, as if instinctively trying to rub away the sudden numbness that came over me.

It was odd. Here I was, hearing the words I had waited for so long coming from the man I so deeply loved and now I couldn't bring myself to leave the past behind and believe him. I needed to know that I was safe with Ranger, that my heart and soul were safe with him.

Over the years most of the important men in my life had hurt me one way or another, and every time I had tended my wounds to go on with my life.

But Ranger was it for me – if he hurt me, there would be no standing up again and carrying on.

"I don't see you as entertainment," he all of a sudden proclaimed. "Neither socially nor sexually." His eyes glittered angrily. "Never ever think that again."

I shivered a little under his cold gaze.

"You ran away and I'm partly responsible for that. Obviously you think that you're not important to me." He frowned deeply. "That's not true. I like you for the courageous and stubborn woman that you are. You're exasperating, smart, self-independent, loyal and funny."

My jaw dropped in shock.

"You see more in me than only Batman and you want to know me. You're there for me whenever I need you."

I swallowed. Was that really Ranger? His eyes shone with sincerity and warmth and I felt dizzy with the amount of hope that was building up inside of me.

"You believed in my innocence in a case of murder even when all the facts spoke differently and you uphold our friendship although I was the reason for many break-ups with Morelli." I felt my hands begin to tremble. "That all are reasons why I love you."

I think my heart just skipped a beat.

"But you're more than that. You're the woman I want to spend my life with."

Ranger's soft gaze studied me for a silent moment before he took my hand into his and placed a sweet kiss in the palm of my hand with closed yes. Warmth spread throughout me as he opened them again with such a tender expression therein.

"It's a risk for me too, Babe. I'm willing to give you more than I've ever given another person before," he said and looked deep into my eyes. "You have to have faith in me. Where's the woman who was nakedly chained to her shower and trusted me to take care of her shortly after we met?"

I averted my eyes from him and took a long, trembling breath. "Faith isn't enough for me anymore. I had faith in Dickie and he cheated on me a day after our wedding." Ranger frowned. "I'm not comparing you to him, Ranger, I'm just wary… You and I, we don't even have a relationship yet and you're already talking about taking the next huge step. I'm still not convinced that your feelings for me are deep enough." I looked him meaningfully in the eyes. "I need to be sure too."

Ranger nodded and stroked my hair thoughtfully. It felt oddly nice to know that he seemed unable to stop touching me.

"I know, Babe. But you have to give me a chance to prove to you that I'm worth the risk. Give me this one chance, Stephanie."

Like my defences my strength weakened and I let myself fall forward into his strong arms.

"Okay," I said into the texture of his sweater, unwilling to fight him anymore. "Okay."

He pressed a kiss to the side of my head. "I'll make sure you won't regret it. Now that you're finally mine."

Awww, how sweet.

"And I meant what I said about marriage."

I barely suppressed another squeak.

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Later that night, it was past midnight at length's, as the word _marriage_ was still haunting me, I made sure that Ranger was asleep next to me and tiptoed to the bathroom. Dialling a familiar number on my cell phone, I sat down on the edge of the bathtub.

"Hello?" answered a groggy voice after a couple of minutes.

"Mary Lou?" I whispered. "It's me, Stephanie."

"Steph?" she yawned. "Why are you calling at this late hour?"

"How did it go with Lenny?"

"Good, I suppose. We're going to try working out everything."

"Great! That's really great! I'm happy for you." I exhaled slowly. "So, what do you think of Russia?"

"Huh?"

I ran a hand through my hair. "Ranger wants to marry me. He didn't even ask, he just stated a fact or something and-"

Suddenly, the phone was yanked out of my hand and I was shocked to see Ranger standing in front of me.

"I'll take care of her," he said into the phone, his dark eyes fixed on me.

Ending the call, he hauled me to my feet and pressed me limp for limp to his glorious and most importantly naked body.

"From now on, any problems you may have you're going to discuss with me. I want you to stop running. Do you trust me?" he asked seriously.

"You know I do," I replied without hesitation.

"Then you should know that you can share anything with me. We're in a partnership, you can talk about everything with me." There was a pause before he continued. "Do you really not want to marry me?"

I sighed. "It has nothing to do with you, it's just… I'm kind of scared of getting married with anybody. At the moment it's still too early, too rushed… Give me time to think about it. In a few years maybe, when our relationship is still steady and I've learned everything there is to learn about you. I mean when I do marry you I want to marry Ricardo Carlos Manoso and not the mysterious Batman. I want to know exactly who the man is I'm going to marry."

Ranger kissed the bitter memories of my first marriage off of my mind.

"I'll tell you everything there is to tell about me," he vowed, his voice thick with emotion.

Picking me up bridal style without tearing his lips apart from my throat, he laid me down on the bed and happily proceeded to show me exactly how eager he was to make good on his promise of not only telling but also showing me everything about him.

Only one word: Otherworldly.

Yum.

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**Flashback**

_He was sitting in his apartment on the seventh floor in the RangeMan building, a stack of piles in front of him, but his thoughts were on a particular employee only three floors below._

"_Boss?" Lester tentatively inquired, well aware of Ranger's odd mood. "I really think you should read this. I found it in Stephanie's cubicle."_

_Ranger turned his head at the mentioning of her name and took the folded note from Lester's outstretched hand._

_Lester anxiously waited for a reaction while he observed his boss and close friend read the few lines which spoke of Stephanie's sudden departure and her wish to be left alone wherever she was._

_Ranger carefully placed the note on his desk, a blank expression on his face._

"_Have you checked her apartment yet?"_

_Lester gave an affirmative answer. "She's really gone."_

_Ranger inhaled deeply and closed his eyes for a single long heartbeat. When he opened them again, he looked beaten, lost and lonely. Ranger's pain seemed tangible and Lester wondered with a shiver if anybody else had ever seen his dark eyes so full emotion as he was able to see now._

_Ranger himself wasn't capable of forming many coherent thoughts. His Babe had left him – that was all that kept flashing through his mind. A wave of helplessness and powerlessness hit him unexpectedly._

_Slowly rising from his seat, Ranger abruptly left his apartment._

_Lester lingered for a bit, his heart heavy as he stared at the piece of paper on Ranger's desk without really seeing it. "Do you have any idea what you're doing to this man?"_

**End Flashback**

* * *

That's the end of this story as well. Thanks to everybody who reviewed! That really kept me going. It was actually quite fun writing this story and I hope you like the last chapter of it.

Let me know what you think.

By the way, has anybody read "Lean Mean Thirteen"? I haven't since I haven't even bought the book yet. Is it any good?

Channah


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